Kaoru's Gift
by Blue Rose Demon
Summary: The twins bond is solid and unbreakable, when one gets sick, there is no doubt,in the hosts' minds that they will stick together, they would go to great lengths to be there for each other even if it means making sacrifices. no flames please, I don't own ouran host club
1. Chapter 1

Hikaru shifted uncomfortably on the couch as he waited for the rest of the host club to arrive in the music room, he felt exhausted and sick. His stomach and side ached terribly.

"Hikaru, I think we need to get you home, or to a doctor, this has been going on too long." Kaoru told him, pressing a hand to his brother's head.

"You have a fever and you're really pale, please?" The younger twin pleaded.

"Kaoru, I'm fine, it's probably a stomach bug or something." Hikaru insisted.

"You can't tell me you're fine, you've been going right to bed after school for days and you sleep through til morning Hika, and you still tell me you're tired, something isn't right."

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Kaoru was beginning to feel frustrated.

"Hikaru, are you okay?" Haruhi asked upon entering the room.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." Haruhi looked at him pointedly.

"You look like you're really sick.

"That's because he is and he won't admit to it." Kaoru said.

"I said it was just-"

"Just a stomach bug, It's more than that, It's not just a little stomach ache, being a little tired and having a fever. You always want to sleep, you don't feel good and last night-"

"Last night was just once, it-"

"That's one time too many." Kaoru shot back.

"Kao, I'll get better, I promise."

"Go see a doctor, that's all I'm asking you to do right now."

"Kaoru-"

"Are Kao-Chan and Hika-Chan fighting Haru-Chan?" Honey asked stepping into the room. The twins seemed oblivious to his arrival.

" it looks like it Honey senpai. I don't think It's fake this time."

"Hika-Chan looks like he doesn't feel very good." Honey looked up at Mori senpai. The taller host didn't reply.

"So if I had those symptoms, and last night was the other way around, you'd say I had a stomach bug and wouldn't worry?"

"Of course I'd worry, you're my little brother, you're very important to me Kaoru."

"You don't think I feel the same way?"

"I'm sure you do but there isn't any reason to assume It's something to worry about." Kaoru turned away from him.

"What's going on in here?" Tamaki and Kyoya appeared in the doorway.

"Hikaru and Kaoru are fighting." Haruhi answered.

"Again, I wonder what-"

"No senpai, I think they're really fighting."

"We thought that last time and it wasn't real."

"Look at Hikaru." She said pointing to the far end of their couch and the pale boy attempting to talk to his brother.

"He looks sick."

"That's why they're fighting. Hikaru says It's a stomach bug but Kaoru doesn't and wants him to see a doctor." Haruhi explained.

"Under the circumstances, I think that's good advice." Kyoya added.

"Don't be like this Kaoru, I can't stand it when you act like you don't hear me. Talk to me, please."

"I have nothing more to say to you Hikaru, not one more word." Kaoru allowed himself to glance back at his twin without moving his head.

"Kaoru, I'm sorry, don't do this." Kaoru stood up and to everyone's astonishment, he walked away, leaving the hosts speechless. After several minutes, Kaoru sank slowly into a chair. Hikaru watched in alarm.

"Kao, what is it?" He called out.

"It's nothing." Kaoru's tone had changed drastically.

"Kaoru, seriously, if something's wrong you need to tell me." Hikaru demanded, Haruhi took a step forward only to have kyoya place a hand on her shoulder.

"They'll work it out." He said.

Hikaru walked over to his little brother.

"Kao, what's bothering you?"

"I'm alright, I just-" the younger twin leaned back against the chair he rested a hand on his belly.

"It really hurts Hika, I feel a little weak, I'm just so-"

"Just relax, you'll be Okay." Kaoru shook his head.

"No Hikaru, I can't, I'm so tired and it hurts so much, I just want to go lie down and sleep. It's never going to get better, I can't." He moaned softly.

"It's okay, I'll take you to a doctor and they'll make it feel better."

"No doctors, I-I just want to go and- I-"

"Kaoru, you need medicine or something, but you'll be alright."

"No, I don't want to-" Hikaru's illness was nothing compared to the fear he felt know.

"Kao, if you feel this bad, you're either going to go to a doctor or straight to a hospital. I don't want you to go through this too." Hikaru panicked.

"Shouldn't we do something you guys?" Haruhi asked.

"No." Kyoya took out his phone but turned back to the twins.

"You'll understand soon."

"Kao, you're scaring me."

"Don't worry, Hika, It's probably just a little stomach bug."

"That's not just a stomach bug Kaoru, you-"

"You don't think so?" Kaoru's voice was now normal.

"No I don't, I think you-" Hikaru stopped and stared at his twin.

"That's what you've been doing to me for a while, you said those things, and a lot more. Last night scared me too. Everything you just felt, imagine if I did that days at a time, started sleeping from the time we came home until the next morning and still felt exhausted. The only difference is you were a lot worse Hikaru. You wanted me to go to a hospital, so why wouldn't you go?" Hikaru remained silent.

"You were faking that?"

"Yeah, to show you what it looked like to me, going to the hospital doesn't seem like such a bad idea now does it Hikaru?"

"Damn Kaoru, you scared the hell out of me!" Hikaru threw his arms around his twin.

"Don't you ever do that again." Tears fell from the oldest brother's eyes.

"Go to the hospital Hika, I'll go with you."

"Kaoru, I don't want -"

"No one ever does, do you love me Hika?"

"You're my baby brother of course I love you."

"Then show me, I want you to get better. I've been so worried."

"It's alright Kaoru, I'll go so we can both feel better. Thank you for making me understand."

"Come on then, let's go." Kaoru stood up and felt a wave of dizziness come over him.

"Kaoru, are you okay?"

"I think so, just a little lightheaded."

"Now we should do something." Kyoya announced.

"Tamaki, I have a car waiting for us make sure Hikaru gets to it, I'll bring Kaoru shortly."

"I want to stay with Kaoru." Hikaru protested.

"I'll see you in the car Hika, It's okay."

"But-"

"Please?" Hikaru hesitated for a moment before agreeing and he allowed Tamaki to walk him out.

"Kaoru, are you okay to walk?" Kyoya asked. The room around Kaoru was beginning to fade to black and he slipped into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Kaoru became aware of the loud beeping and a voice calling his name. He tried to move but found something preventing him from doing so. He opened his eyes slowly to find himself lying in a hospital bed.

"Kaoru, are you okay?" Hikaru's voice called from the bed next to his.

"What ha-"

"How are you feeling?" Hikaru insisted on an answer.

"Okay I think, but-"

"Good. What the hell were you thinking Kaoru, do you have any idea how dangerous it can be to-"

Kaoru sighed as the memory came back.

"I'm sorry Hikaru, I was so woried I just couldn't even think about food. You know my stomach gets upset when I worry like that. It felt like someone tied it in knots. You don't have any room to yell at me."

"You're right Kao, I'm sorry, I was so scared, you slept for a really long time, almost as long as me."

"That isn't funny." Kaoru attempted to sit up.

"Don't, you could pull the IV out if you're not careful." Kaoru looked at his arm and saw the IV line.

"What did I need this for?"

"Because you weren't eating and your body didn't have everything it needs because of it. You're thin enough as it is Kao, you can't afford to lose anything or you'll get sick again."

"So the doctor found out what was wrong?" Kaoru asked.

"With you yeah, you fainted from not eating and you're going to stay for a day to be sure you're alright..

"What about you?"

"They took me for some tests but admitted me to do more. Everyone's here, they went down the hall to the machines. They'll be happy to see you awake. You scared Haruhi pretty good. She told me she never saw anyone faint before. But I'm just glad Kyoya senpai was there, he caught you before you could hit your head on anything."

"Are you feeling any better Hikaru?"

"I'm not hurting right now, they gave me some medicine for pain, I'm more worried about you."

"Don't. If that's all it was then I don't need to-"

"Hika-Chan, Kao-Chan, we were worried about you." Honey said hugging USA-Chan to his chest.

"We'll be okay honey senpai. Kaoru only needs to stay until tomorrow then he'll be out and-"

"I'm still going to be here Hikaru."

"But you won't be a patient."

"Did the doctor find out what's wrong yet Hikaru?" Tamaki asked.

"He's waiting for the tests to come back and sending me for a few more later." The oldest twin said sleepily.

"Hopefully they know something soon." Haruhi said.

"Hey Haruhi, I'm sorry about what happened." Kaoru pushed himself up.

"It's okay, I'm just glad you're okay. Try to rest, both of you." Before anymore could be said, the visit was interrupted by the doctor. He greeted the hosts warmly before turning his attention to the twins.

"I have the test results for Hikaru, would you like me to proceed or would you prefer to send your guests into the hall?" Kaoru didn't like what he was hearing.

"Go ahead, if It's okay with everyone else." Hikaru said. No one moved.

"Alright, the tests show decreased kidney function, at the rate It's happening he'll need a new one sooner rather than later. I think-"

"At our age?" Kaoru asked in surprise.

"I'm afraid so. It's uncommon but it does happen, we'll do a few more tests to be sure he's going to handle the surgery okay and I have a few options that need to be talked about."

"Like what?"

"If surgery is the best course of action, Hikaru would obviously need to find a kidney. He can be placed on a donor list but they take time, or he can find someone that's willing to give him one of theirs. A person can live with only one. If he choses to look on his own, his best chance for a match would be Kaoru. He would have to undergo tests as well to be sure he can do it,just because you two are twins doesn't necessarily mean you're a match but siblings usually have the highest chance."

"So when can we start the tests?"

"What are the risks for Kaoru?"

"Well, It's considered major surgery so It's pretty much the same, there's a risk of bleeding, infection both rarely happen in a very small number of cases... Death has-"

"No. I'm not going to let you do this Kaoru, I won't lose you."

"Hikaru, didn't you hear him say the number of cases are small, If I'm the best chance you have then why not take it, I'm willing to do it."

"I'm not."

"Hikaru!"

"You heard me Kaoru, I'm not letting you do it." Hikaru said sternly.

"What do you mean you're not letting me?"

"The decision has to come from me too. I won't take it from you."

"You can't do that!"

"I can, and I did."

"It seems you two need sometime to think about this, Kaoru, u planned on examining you while I was here but I'm going to give you some time."

"There's nothing to think about, Kaoru isn't an option." Kaoru glared at Hikaru angrily as the doctor left them.

"Don't look at me that way Kaoru, I'm not going to put you through something that could possibly kill you so I can feel better."

"Then there's nothing more to say." Kaoru laid back and maintained his silence the remainder of the night much to Hikaru's displeasure.


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you feeling better Kaoru?" The doctor asked pulling out his stethoscope.

"I feel fine." The younger twin answered allowing the doctor to examine him while Hikaru wached.

"Is he okay?" Hikaru asked weakly. After a momentary silence due to the doctor listening to Kaoru's heart.

"His heart's strong, Kaoru, are you feeling funny at all, weak or dizzy, any pains?"

"No. I feel fine." Kaoru answered.

"Are you sure Kao, you have to be sure." Hikaru said.

"I know how I feel Hikaru, I'm okay."

"You were 'okay' yesterday too until you fainted."

"Enough, this bickering isn't doing anyone any good. It's only going to add more stress ro both of you and Kaoru, you can't keep going that way, you'll end up sicker next time, you have to relax so you can take food. Hikaru, in your condition It's best to avoid stressful situations. Kaoru, since you feel fine lying down, I want to be sure standing and walking don't cause you problems. I want you to walk to my office with me. If you can get there with no problem, we can sign you out."

Kaoru stood up from the bed slowly, and began to follow the doctor.

"Be careful Kaoru, if you feel-"

"I know what I'm doing Hikaru. You just worry about yourself."

"Kao, don't be that way, please." Hikaru pleaded but Kaoru didn't reply.

He walked with the doctor to his office where he was offered a seat.

"You mentioned earlier wanting to talk to me, what did you need?" The doctor asked gently.

"I want you to test me anyway, I don't care what Hikaru said. If I can do it, I also want you to schedule the surgery but Hikaru can't find out or he's going to give us a problem, me mostly but I can deal with him."

"You realize the risks involved?'

"Yes. I understand that it might not go well for me but It's a small chance that I'm willing to take. I'm not just going to sit back and let my brother die, even if it means I do."

"I thought you might say that. There are a lot of tests involved, including frequent blood pressure checks and exams, that's not including after the surgery."

"Will you do it?" The doctor sighed.

"Yes Kaoru, we can do that, It's going to take time though, with you being released, you're going to need to take a few at a time and-"

"What if I'm not discharged will we get anything done faster?"

"It's possible, but since you're doing better, you would either have to be sick again or I would have to be given the green light by a superior." Kaoru took the hint given by the doctor and pulled out his phone.

"Is it alright to make a phone call?" He asked.

"Certainly, I'll begin the proper paperwork then." Kaoru pressed a button on his phone and held it to his ear and waited.

"Kaoru, how are you two feeling?" Kyoya greeted.

"I'm better, but Hikaru isn't doing very well. That's kind of why I'm calling, I know It's during club hours but I need a big favor."

Hikaru waited nervously for Kaoru to return many thoughts running through his head. Maybe Kaoru got sick again or something happened, would Kaoru just leave him after their argument? He wouldn't blame his brother if he did.

Hikaru was tempted to call Kaoru just to check in, he knew Kaoru would ignore his call but send a text not wanting to talk with him. Just as he reached for his phone he heard the doctor talking with Kaoru.

"It's important that you not get stressed, and eat, I know sometimes It's hard but have some juice and crackers if you don't think you can handle food, don't just skip it all together. We've arranged for you to stay with him and you can sleep in the bed next to him, we can keep the room just you two. Other than that, I'll be back to talk with you later and check on Hikaru." He said handing Kaoru a bottle of orange juice and a small package of crackers.

"Thank you. I'll be careful."

"I certainly hope so Kaoru, It's vital, no stress and no arguing." Hikaru watched as Kaoru placed something in his pocket before entering the room.

"How'd it go Kao?" Hikaru asked, the conversation he over heard worried him.

"Fine. How are you feeling?"

"Kao, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"All this arguing. It's my fault and I know you just want me to be better, I promise I'll try not to irritate you. I won't fight with you anymore Kaoru."

"I only get upset because I care about you Hikaru."

"I know. I'm not going to upset you anymore, I promise." Kaoru walking to the bed he had been using and sat down.

"Good, it'll help both of us if the fighting stops. I'll try to be more calm too."

"I'm glad to hear that, I'd feel terrible if I ever hurt you Kaoru."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, did they let you sign out?" Kaoru didn't answer right away,

"Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry Hikaru, everything's going to be fine."


	4. Chapter 4

"Almost done Kaoru, with this one anyway." The nurse said with a smile.

"I didn't realize there were this many tests involved in the process." He watched the dark haired woman pull the blue band, releasing the pressure on his arm. She proceeded to take some gauze over the the needle which she gently pulled out and instructed him to apply pressure to it.

"We have to make sure you're healthy enough to give up one of your kidneys before we move forward, It's a long process but It's important, and it looks like you have a priority in your chart which is why we're doing so many so close together, we can get them to the lab and have your results buly tomorrow. You won't have all of them done today but we'll get everything done."

"I wouldn't care if the tests were done all at once, as long as Hikaru gets better."

"A young man your age shouldn't be faced with this situation, he can be placed on a list you know, it could-"

"Do you have a brother?" Kaoru asked.

"No, I'm an only child." She confessed.

"Then you can't understand what this feels like, to see the one person who's always been there, the one you've shared everything with, dying while people who can't imagine what you're going through suggest wasting time that he may not have. I'm not going to let him die just because you or anyone else thinks I shouldn't be in this situation, I wish Hikaru wasn't sick but it happened and I'm going to make him better."

"You're right, I'm sorry." She said quietly. Kaoru pulled his sleeve down to cover the gauze and stood up from the chair.

"You have two more tests later on, we'll come and get you for shortly, until then you can go back to your room." Kaoru didn't reply, he simply began his walk back to the room taking his hospital bracelet off as he continued and putting it back in his pocket out of Hikaru's sight.

"Kao-Chan!" Honey greeted happily causing Kaoru to smile faintly as he replied.

"Hey Honey senpai." Kaoru leaned against the wall, the rest of the hosts would moat likely be there soon and there was little seating. Kaoru would offer them to sit on his bed.

" what did he say Kaoru?" Hikaru asked.

"Who?"

"Come on Kao, I know you better than that, you were talking to the doctor again weren't you?"

"Earlier, just try to relax Hikaru."

"What did he say?"

"I can't say yet, I don't want to get your hopes up."

"About what?" Kaoru sighed.

"They may have found one for you but It's still goimg through the matching process and the doctor said he didn't want you to-"

"But you're okay?" The younger twin wasn't surprised.

"I'm fine, you don't have to worry about me."

"So you really didn't talk to him about..."

"We talked about you Hika. I'm really worried about you, you're so sick and I can't do anything." Kaoru bowed his head, it had to be convincing.

"Kaoru, look at me." Hikaru said in a tone that Kaoru couldn't ignore. The younger twin raised his head.

"Would you tell me if you weren't feeling good again?"

"Hika, I-"

"Kaoru."

"Yes Hikaru, I'll tell you, just stop doing that!"

"Kao-Chan, maybe you should relax, Hika-Chan just wants to know you're okay."

"We've been over this, you're the one who's sick, stop worrying about me. I'm not the one lying in the hospital right now, I-I need some air. I'm sorry honey senpai." He said before exiting the room.

"Kao hates me." Hikaru sighed.

"No he doesn't Hika-Chan, this is probably just hard for him. You two are really close and everything."

"I just hope he doesn't end up sick because of me."

"What do you mean Hika-Chan?"

"Don't tell him but I heard him talking with the doctor the other day and he said it was vital that Kaoru doesn't get stressed, I think I'm making him sick."

Kaoru made his way down the hall, his mind on his brother. He hated lying to him but if it was the only way to make him better, Kaoru had no choice.

"Kaoru?" The nurse called causing the teen to turn to her.

"Kaoru, we're ready for your other tests now. You'll have some imaging tests, and a physical exam. I hope you're okay with adding one more today, you'll be in that area of the hospital so I thought it could help."

"That's fine."

"Good, if you'll came with me, we'll get you started."

The nurse led Kaoru into the small room were they performed x-rays.

"You can just lie down here and we'll get this done, we just need a couple." Kaoru did as he was instructed, Hikaru would need these results quickly to survive his illness. He didn't care what the tests were, as long as he was able to help his brother. After what felt like an eternity he was able to return to the room, this time greeted by the rest of the hosts. Hikaru seemed very upset.

"What's-" he didn't get to finish before Hikaru turned to look at him.

"Kaoru, come here." He said in the same impossible to ignore tone. Kaoru stood next to his bed. The hosts became silent.

"What aren't you telling me little brother?"

"I've told you everything." Kaoru hoped he sounded believable.

"Kao, I'm sick, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid too."

"I never said-"

"You didn't get discharged did you?" Kaoru could feel his heart beating faster as he tried to think of something to say.

"Hikaru, are you accusing me of lying?" He said doing his best to sound angry through his fear.

"That's exactly what I'm doing, I can read you Kaoru and I know you're lying but what I don't know is why."

"Where's your proof?"

"I found something that belongs to you, it fell out of your pocket when you left." Hikaru held up his hand to reveal the hospital bracelet.

"Why would you be putting it in your pocket?" Kaoru was at a loss and so quickly came up with a plan. He lowered himself slowly onto the bed.

"Hika," he said replacing the mock anger with an expression of sadness. This always forced Hikaru out of anger, it didn't fail. Hikaru softened his voice.

"Kao, is something...are you still sick?"

'Good, you really don't know, I'm sorry Hika, you can yell at me later, when you come home.' Kaoru thought to himself.

"Kaoru, talk to me." Kyoya seemed to be watching with a fair amount of interest.

"I-I didn't want to worry you, you shouldn't be upset right now. "

"Just tell me." Kaoru paused.

"You know back at the music room the other day, when I showed you what you were doing?"

"Yeah. What about it?" Hikaru was dreading the rest of the explanation.

"I-I wasn't faking all of it, the doctor took me into his office and I felt really sick, that's why I was gone so long."

"Kao, I-" Hikaru didn't know what to say, he suddenly felt guilty for being so harsh with him.

"Is it serious, I'm not losing you am I, tell me I'm-"

"Calm down Hika, you know it upsets me when you get upset. No, as far as I know you're not going to. But It's not something that we can take lightly. The doctor says I'll need surgery too, but I won't do it until you go in for your kidney operation, we won't be in the same room, but I'll be in the one next to you, you won't go through it alone. So if the kidney they think they can give you will work, I want you to take it. You don't have to worry about me, I just want you to be okay, I need you Hikaru."

"Why hide this Kaoru, we've told each other everything, we've always been together and it kind of hurts that you didn't tell me."

"I know, I'm sorry Hikaru, you're a lot worse than I am so I didn't want to make it any worse for you. Will you do this for me?" Kaoru pleaded.

"Kaoru, if they want you to have surgery, whether or not I do, it doesn't-"

"Please, I'm scared, I want you to be close and if we can both get better, then-"

"Kaoru, I don't want you to have to wait." Kaoru looked into Hikaru's eyes with tears in his own.

"Please big brother?" Hikaru's heart melted, not only was Kaoru crying, but he only called Hikaru 'big brother' in rare occasions which always led ro the same result, Kaoru would get whatever he wanted, Hikaru could never deny him anything when it came to those words, to do that would be to fail Kaoru and he couldn't bring himself to do such a thing.

"Don't worry Kaoru, I'll do it for you. Promise me you won't keep anything from me anymore?"

"I promise. I love you big brother." Hikaru smiled reaching up to wipe the tears from Kaoru's face.

"I love you too Kaoru, do you feel okay?"

"I think I should lie down for a few minutes, but I'm Okay."

"Can you get over to your bed?"

"I'll help him." Kyoya offered walking over and pulling the younger twin up allowing him to lean on his arm.

"You're really good at thinking quickly, remind me to talk to you about a project I'm working on, I could use a creative mind." Kyoya whispered helping Kaoru into bed.

"Thanks Kyoya-senpai."

"It's no trouble at all Kaoru, I can see that you both need your rest, we need our little devils back as soon as possible."

"That's right, the club isn't complete without our devils." Tamaki confirmed. 'If you two need anything, just let us know, we'll take care of it."

"Thanks boss." The reply came in unison causing the group to grin collectively. They missed this at the club. Kyoya ushered the group out of the room but none of the spoke until they were out of the building.

"I never would have guessed Kaoru was actually that sick,I mean with him standing there and walking around." Haruhi said.

"That's because he's not." Kyoya said and received confused glances.

"Did any of you actually hear him, there is no doubt in my mind that he's not feeling well to a point. Hikaru is his brother, that would be difficult for anyone to watch a sibling go through something like that. I know for a fact that what he said was only to convince Hikaru to allow the transplant to take place quickly,.as soon as the test results come back."

"What test results?" Tamaki asked.

"To make sure they match, we can't let Hikaru know of course but Kaoru's been going through a series of tests and then they'll both be having surgery,Kaoru will be giving his brother life if all goes well."

"How culd you let that happen Kyoya, if something goes wrong with our twins-"

"Tamaki, if somethink happens to Hikaru, we've already lost both of them. Kaoru wouldn't have the heart to keep going but Hikaru will have no choice but to live because a part of Kaoru would be with him, which would you prefer?"

"For both of them to be alright." Tamaki answered.

"Then keep quiet and hope for the best. We'll find out soon enough."


	5. Chapter 5

"Okay Kaoru, you've been doing better, your vitals are good, physical exams, tests are all great, you actually ate something, the tests all point to the same conclusion, it looks like you're going to be able to help Hikaru. We can schedule the surgery for the day after tomorrow in the morning."

"Good, I was getting worried, he seems to be worse the last couple days. I hardly slept." Kaoru confessed.

"I can see that, you need to be rested though, you'd be surprised at some of the problems lack of sleep can cause. I'm going to have you go back to the room and stay in bed, It's important." The doctor said.

"He's going to be fine won't he?" Kaoru asked.

"If we get him in there on schedule, and with you being the donor, and easily his perfect match, there's little to no risk of rejection, along with the fact that there is virtually no risk for him, I'd say he has a pretty good chance." Kaoru smiled.

"Thank you." He stood up from his chair and turned to leave.

"I mean it Kaoru, rest." He warned.

"I will." He promised and made his way back to his brother, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from him.

He entered the room quietly after seeing Hikaru asleep already and sat in the chair next to him.

"You can't leave me Hika, please. Me without you just wouldn't be right. If you do, I don't know if I could be alone like that, we're twins for a reason, there's supposed to be two of us."

"I'm not going anywhere Kao." Hikaru whispered, he had very little strength left but reached for Kaoru's hand, the younger boy tried to smile through his tears, he took hold of it.

"That's good to hear, I have something to tell you, good news."

"I could use some right now. What is it?"

"They found one, the day after tomorrow is the earliest we can have our operations."

"That soon, that's great Kaoru. I'll be happy when we're home in our own room and life is back to normal."

"Me too. It scares me to see you this way Hikaru."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'd get up if I could."

"Don't be sorry, just get better. Your always the stronger one, I-"

"I guess it's your turn for a while., you're really good at it too Kao. I'm proud of you."

"thanks Hikaru. It's just temporary though, this is your job, I expect you to take it back when you're stronger."

"That sounds fair. How are you feeling, you don't look too good."

"I'll be okay, I just didn't sleep last night, It's nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I just need to sleep."

"Then go lie down, I'll probably go back to sleep too, I'm really sorry Kaoru."

"Don't be, you can't help being sick. "

"It's not just that Kaoru, I've been putting you through a lot, you couldn't eat, you can't sleep, you need some time to rest too. I don't want to make you sicker, I don't want you to-"

"It's okay, you won't I'll be okay. Everyone's going to visit later and we can let them know then."

"Hey Kao, I want you to know that you're the best brother in the world, even when I didn't act like it."

'Until you realize what I'm doing, you may not think so then.' Kaoru thought.

"Are you sure you don't want me to sit with you?"

"I'd love for you to sit with me but resting is important." Kaoru looked away and stood up.

"Hey," Hikaru called causing his twin to look back.

"I'll be here when you wake up, don't worry.." Kaoru nodded and laid down. It didn't take long for his brother to sleep, but Kaoru didn't sleep at all. His anxiety was getting the best of him, he felt sick and his stomach hurt. He found himself wishing they could do the surgery sooner, the doctor had noticed the anxiety earlier in the day and assumed it was fear of having the procedure, but Kaoru wasn't afraid for himself, Hikaru was what was important, his fear came from the thought of losing his twin. He sighed and turned on the television careful to keep it low. Even that could not distract him from the harshness of his reality.

"I'm glad they found one, and they were able to get it done so fast." Haruhi said later that day.

"Yeah, I just wish it could happen sooner. He's so sick and-"

"He's going to be okay" Tamaki said.

"I really hope so."

"Try to relax, you're going to make yourself sick." Kyoya advised. "I know It's hard but it would be helpful to both of you. He needs you to be calm. Kaoru shook his head and sipped his Orange juice.

"It's not as easy as it sounds."

"Don't worry Kao-Chan, I'll come and be here for you two." Honey said.

"Thanks Honey senpai, but shouldn't you go to school and visit after?"

"We talked about it and there's no way we'll let you two go through this and not have some support, we decided that we're going to be here for you. As club president, I insist, as your friends we aren't giving you the option to say no and you're not allowed to feel guilty." Tamaki said sternly.

"Thanks everyone, that means a lot to me, I'm sure Hikaru would feel the same way."

"That's what friends do Kao-chan. We care about both of you." Honey smiled.

"I just hope everything goes alright for him, the doctor said his risks were virtually nonexistent but virtually isn't really the same as having none at all."

"He's going to be fine, just make sure you look after yourself too, It's bad for business to lose our brotherly love act, between the two of you and haruhi the host club's finances are looking up." Kyoya said. To someone outside the host club, the comment may have sounded cold but the hosts could hear the true message.

"Doctor said it could be several weeks before we can come back to school, longer if there are complications."

"Then I suggest you not have any. Do everything you can to avoid them."

"We'll do our best."

"You're really brave Kao-chan."

"Not really, I'm just doing what I can."

"Wouldn't you do the same thing for your brother Honey senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"Of course I would Haru-Chan. Even if Chika-Chan hates me. I still love him. I would give him my heart if he needed it."

"You would die to save him but you won't give up cake for him?" She shook her head. There was a moment of silence before Honey walked over to Kaoru, Usa-Chan held against his chest.

"Kao-Chan, I know you're worried and its hard for you, Usa-Chan and Takashi make me feel better, I have Takashi so if you want- Usa-Chan can stay with you two until you get better." The room hosts stared in shock as the toy was held out to Kaoru.

"Honey senpai, I- I can't take Usa-Chan from you, you might miss him."

"It's alright, as long as I get him back when you're well enough." Kaoru looked to Mori who nodded. Kaoru took the object, he was touched, Honey Senpai had never offered it to anyone.

"Thank you honey senpai, we'll take good care of him." Kaoru promised.

"I know you will Kao- Chan. I trust you." A short time later, the hosts said goodbye and Kaoru laid down in bed allowing the rabbit to sit on his chest. He was feeling a little better. He knew that it was simply the gesture made by his friend and the rabbit was just a stuffed animal but that night he found himself sleeping soundly with Usa-Chan sitting on the nightstand between the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you nervous Hikaru?" Kaoru asked the morning of their surgery.

"A little, are you?" Hikaru replied weakly.

"About the same I guess." In truth, he felt his anxiety climb to new levels, though his feeling was not for himself.

"We'll be alright Kaoru." Hikaru touched his little brother's hand lightly.

"Yeah, I know, but I just want you to know that whatever happens, I love you Hika."

"I love you too Kao, it'll be done soon. Before you know it we'll be awake and then after that home in our bed."

"That would be nice."

"It's going to be back to the way it was before all this."

"I doubt that' Kaoru muttered.

"What Kao?"

"Nothing. I just can't wait for all this to be done."

"It will be, lie back like the nurse said, it might help." Kaoru shook his head.

"It won't." Kaoru said moving carefully to avoid disrupting the iv in his arm.

"Lie down anyway Kao, for me."

"Fine." He said leaning back.

"Hi hika-Chan and Kao-Chan.",honey said rubbing his eyes.

"Hi honey senpai, hi Mori senpai." The twins greeted in unison. The rest of the group followed seconds later.

"How are you two doing?" Tamaki asked standing next to Hikaru.

"Okay." They said though the hosts weren't convinced.

"It's going to be alright. They're long procedures but we have some of the best surgeons on staff, and we will be in the waiting area while you're in the operating rooms, when you come out we'll be there when you wake up as well."

"It really means a lot that you guys are here." Hikaru said honestly.

"You two mean a lot to us, why wouldn't we be here?" Tamaki replied.

"You really didn't have to be, the doctor said we'll sleep for a while so it probably would take longer than the school day and club hours."

"Even if that's true, everyone should have their friends around them at times like this." Haruhi added. "If you think any of us could concentrate, knowing you guys are sick and having surgery, anyway, you'd be wrong."

"In case you two can see what's in front of you, the club is much more than us getting together to entertain the ladies of our school. We're more like a family. Even Kyoya thinks of us as family, he just won't admit it." Tamaki said earning a look from his friend.

"Can't you just admit it this once, mommy, our little devils need the encouragement"

"Alright..daddy, I admit our club is a little something more. Just remember you two, you have guests that have had be be compenced for your absence, you'll need to be back as soon as possible to make things right with them."

"Hikaru, were going to start getting you ready, Kaoru will be there shortly after." The nurse said. Hikaru nodded.

"Kaoru, it'll be okay, I'll see you soon okay?" He said.

"Yeah, see you soon Hikaru." After his twin was taken, Kaoru sighed.

"Can I ask you guys a favor?"

"Of course, anything you want." Tamaki said.

"On the off chance something does happen to me, do you think maybe you could look after Hikaru, so he doesn't feel so alone, the thought of him feeling like It's just hin against the world is what really scares me." The hosts didn't speak right away, they hadn't expected Kaoru to ask such a thing.

"Of course Kao-Chan, we'll be with him so much he'll be sick of us." Honey answered finally. It didn't take long for Kaoru to be taken in and the rest of the hosts to be shown to the waiting area.

"You don't think Kaoru's really-"

"I think he's just worried about hikaru. He wants make sure he'll be taken care of no matter what." Kyoya said not allowing Haruhi to finish her question. They sat down to wait.

"Why does waiting have to be so hard Takashi?" Mori senpai simply placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Do you think we'll hear something soon?"

"The operation itself is about three hours, you don't want them to come out before that. Try to be calm, right now no news is good news." The group sat silently for that first hour, their thoughts wandering between the twins until finally, Haruhi couldn't take anymore waiting.

"Does Anyone want me to get anything, there's a few shops not far from here." She offered.

"Do you want to go see if you can get some cake Haru-Chan?" Honey asked, he didn't feel much like eating it at the moment but knew why she needed to leave and was willing to give her the excuse she needed.

"Sure honey-senpai." She stood up from her chair.

"Haruhi, would you mind getting some coffee while you're out?"

"I think we should get Hikaru and Kaoru cards." Tamaki said, unable to think of anything he needed."maybe you could get a few snacks too, I didn't have time for breakfast this morning." He added as the thought,came to him.

"We'll need plates and silverware then." Kyoya said handing Haruhi a card.

"That might be a lot to carry Haru-Chan, you should take Takashi with you." Honey senpai suggested. Haruhi nodded but before they left, Honey requested that Mori senpai keep her out as long as he could in an effort to spare her the same worry that would increase with time.

It would be nearly two hours before they returned with the items. They had just enough time to have a snack before the surgeon came out to speak with them.

"Are Hikaru and Kaoru okay?" Tamaki asked. The surgeon sat down with them.

"Hikaru is doing very well, he's out of surgery and there weren't any problems. He's being taken to the recovery room."

"That's great what about Kaoru?" The expression on the doctor's face told them it wouldn't be good.

"Kaoru did fine while the kidney was being removed at first. We remove it through the stomach, when we took it, there was a pretty bad hemorrhage in his abdomen, that caused a severe drop in blood pressure-"

"Is Kao-chan... Is he okay?" Honey was close to tears.

"He survived the operation, we stopped the bleeding but he needs to be watched closely, It's a good sign that he got through it, we just need to wait and see now." The hosts' hearts sank.

"Is there a possibility that Kaoru isn't going to-" Haruhi needed to know but couldn't finish the question.

"There is a fifty percent chance, it can go either way. Fifty is better than it could have been."

"Can we see them?" Kyoya asked

"You can, they're not together right now, Kaoru requested that if something went wrong, Hikaru not be there in case he-we can't be sure so we did keep them apart. If you'll give us a few minutes, we can take you to them, I must warn you, both are very pale and both have breathing tubes, we do that with all our surgeries to prevent breathing problems while they sleep. When they're fully awake, we'll take them out." He walked off to check on the twins before sending the hosts in.

"Kaoru's going to be fine. I'm sure of it." Tamaki said trying to sound cheerful.

"I hope so senpai, I guess we're back to waiting."


	7. Chapter 7

"What should we tell Hikaru if he wakes up first?" Tamaki asked when they entered the room.

"That Kaoru's still asleep and they want to watch him." Kyoya answered.

"Won't that upset him?"

"Not if we don't mention the complications, we have to give Hikaru a chance to be stronger, if we come right out and tell him, it may hinder his recovery." Kyoya said. The group had split up with Tamaki and Kyoya at Hikaru's side and Haruhi, honey and Mori senpai with Kaoru.

It was difficult for the hosts to see the twins lying so still.

"Kao-Chan, we really want you to get better. I'm sorry you had a hard time with your surgery. You really are brave, did you know Kao- Chan, is that why you asked us to take care of Hika-chan?"

"Misukuni" Mori senpai said trying to stop him from saying anymore.

"He'll be fine Honey senpai, he has to be." Haruhi reached out and rested her hand on Kaoru's.

"Come on Kaoru, you mean so much to Hikaru, and to all of us. We're all here for you guys. You two do everything together, so you have to wake up together too." After several hours,Hikaru was awake and able to have the tube taken out.

"Where's Kao?" He whispered, his throat hurt from the tube.

"You should rest Hikaru, Kaoru's sleeping " Kyoya answered.

"Shouldn't he-"

"They're watching him for a while until he wakes up don't worry."

"I want to-" Kyoya gently pressed Hikaru back as he attempted to get up.

"Hikaru, you need to lie still, he's just sleeping, sometimes it takes longer for a person to wake up."

"He's okay?" Kyoya was hesitant to answer.

"I'm sure he's going to be just fine." He said finally. Hikaru seemed reluctant to accept that answer but relaxed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great."

"I guess you wouldn't after something like that. The doctor should be in to check on you soon. Hopefully you're okay to be moved not long from now."

"Will I see Kaoru soon?"

"That depends on how long it takes to get him to wake up,and how Long they want to watch him." Kyoya informed him.

"Is he by himself?" Kyoya shook his head.

"Haruhi, Honey senpai and Mori senpai are there, just rest." Tamaki instructed.

"Good, at least he's not alone." Hikaru said before drifting off again.

"What are we going to do?" Tamaki panicked.

"Keep Hikaru in the dark until Kaoru wakes up and is alright or until he can handle the truth."

"So, we're only going to tell him after Kaoru wakes up?"

"We'll tell him on a need to know basis."

"I don't know if I can do this, lying to him about Kaoru it just doesn't seem right."

"I know Tamaki, you don't have to, It's my idea and I'll take the blame. Hikaru needs to get better, any bad news could seriously delay that or worse."

"I hope you know what you're doing Kyoya."

"So do I."

Hikaru found himself standing in silent darkness, he had no idea where he was.

"Kaoru!" He shouted only to heart his own voice echo around him. He began to worry and called out once more, this time he got his answer.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru's voice called back. Hikaru couldn't help thinking his brother sounded frail.

"Where are you Kao?" He instinctively walked in the direction of the voice only to find a barrier in his way.

"Kaoru, I can't find-"

"Stay there Hika, you shouldn't be over here."

"Then why are you?"

"Because you need me to be."

"I don't understand."

"It's okay, you don't need to right now."

"I'm afraid Kao."

"Don't be, you're going to be fine. I promise." The younger twin sounded as if he was weakening with each passing second.

"Kaoru, why can't I get to you I-"

"Just relax Hikaru, being upset isn't good for right now. One day you'll understand." Hikaru woke suddenly to find that in place of Kyoya and Tamaki, Haruhi, Honey senpai and Mori Senpai were by his side.

"Hika-Chan, we're so happy you're awake." Honey tried to smile as he normally would but found it difficult. Kyoya had give specific instructions on what not to tell the boy.

"Hey guys. You were with Kaoru weren't you, has he gotten up yet?"

"Not yet Hikaru, but we hope he will soon. How are you?" The oldest twin sighed.

"Not good. Even worse than all the physical stuff, I'm really worred about Kaoru and I had such a strange dream just now."

"Don't worry Hika-Chan, it was only a dream." Honey comforted.

"Yeah but it was really weird, I was separated from him by some kind of wall or something and o couldn't see him but I heard him. He told me I didn't want to be over there and when I asked why, he told me I'd understand someday."

"That's pretty weird."

"I hope he gets up soon."

"The doctor's checking on him now, we asked him to let us know if anything changes." As if on cue, the doctor arrived at the bedside.

"Good evening Hikaru, how are you feeling?"

"What about Kaoru?"

"You really should focus on getting well right now, as it happens, I do need to talk to you about Kaoru but at this moment, I need you to tell me how you're feeling."

"After you tell me about my brother." Hikaru's defiance seemed to be taking over despite his weakness.

"You truly are a good big brother, very well, Kaoru opened his eyes very briefly before going back to sleep, now before you get upset, it can take a couple days to fully wake up, sometimes those things happen. It's good that he's means he was conscious."

"Good, does that mean he's okay?"

"It means he's trying to be. We're going to keep watch, you're both going to be moved into rooms that are very close to the nurse station for a few days and we'll work with you on becoming more active as your strength returns."

"Will Kaoru be in-"

"Kaoru will have his own room, I'm sorry but your friend Kyoya has made arrangements for you all to stay."

"When will I bw able to be with Kao?"

"We'll get you two together as soon as possible, I can't give you an exact timeframe right now but try to get some rest and the moment Kaoru wakes up, I will tell you."

"How can it take days, I woke up and they took out the breathing tube. You're telling me Kaoru can't do that?"

"I am telling you that some patients have a difficult time fully waking after surgery, it doesn't mean he won't, It's just going to take time. You need to be patient."

"That's easy for you to say, you aren't affected by it."

"Hikaru, try to take it easy." Haruhi said. "Don't you think Kaoru would say the same thing if he was awake ?'

"Yeah, Kaoru would be really upset with me. But if he was awake, I would be more calm."

"I know hika-Chan, but Kao-Chan needs this from you. Do it for him, It's important that you don't get all upset.' Honey said. Hikaru didn't reply.

"I need to examine you and make sure you're doing okay, can you let me do that?" Hikaru hesitated, he honestly just wanted the doctor to leave. He hated being away from Kaoru. He finally agreed. Without Kaoru, he was going to have a long recovery.

A/n I just wanted to thank you all for your support of this story. I appreciate it and hope you continue to enjoy it.


	8. Chapter 8

Days passed, Kaoru slipped in and out of conciousness frequently. He rarely woke long enough to speak but when he did, it was to ask and Hikaru.

"He's doing great, getting stronger everyday. The doctor had him take a few steps yesterday, they say he's going to be just fine." Tamaki assured him.

"Good. Did they say when he could go home?"

"Not an exact date, but the doctor said it could be soon. You aren't expecting him to actually go are you?"

"For a while he'll have to, he's still going to have times when he's really tired but not like he was."

"So you talked with the doctor then?"

"A little." Kaoru admitted.

"So what did he say about you?"

"Don't worry about me boss, just make sure Hikaru's taken care of, please?"

"We will." Tamaki took hold his hand. "I promise you."

"Thank you. That'll really help me."

"Kaoru, why won't you talk about it?"

"About what?"

"What's going on with you?"

"Because It's not important, Hikaru needs you guys right now, that's what's important."

"You are too, we want you better just as much." Tamaki leaned forward in his chair.

"I know you do, right now, I- I guess I'm just a little tired. When Hikaru goes home, if you guys don't mind, can you stay with him?"

"Of course, at least one of us will-"

"It's real important that Hikaru doesn't know I'm asking."

"We'll do anything you need us to do Kaoru, but these request sound almost like you're-" The blonde boy looked into Kaoru's eyes and got his answer.

"Kaoru, I-"

"It's okay, he's getting better that's what matters to me. " Kaoru said honestly. Tamaki took in a deep breath.

"Don't do that boss, please, especially with Hikaru, we can't know. It's going to be hard for him as it is. He'll find out eventually but I don't want him to hear it from anyone but me, I think It's best that way. I'm not going to tell him about the transplant and hope you guys won't either. It's not his fault I chose to do this, he's going to blame himself. I don't want him to think that."

"You're going to let him see you then, I'm glad."

"It would be worse if I didn't." Tamaki nodded, trying to hold back the tears. Kaoru squeezed his hand comfortingly.

"Please don't be upset, it'll be okay. Don't let him see you this way."

"I won't, maybe they're wrong, sometimes they say those things and it doesn't happen."

"Sometimes... The way I feel now though, I don't think It's wrong.

"How do you feel?"

"I feel drained, tired, at first I was in a lot of pain, I still hurt but the pain medication takes some of it away, they want to give me more of it but I didn't want to sleep the whole time."

"You took just enough to lessen it." Kaoru nodded.

"Anything stronger would have made it more difficult to make these requests and to say everything I need to."

"Honey senpai was right, you really are brave."

"No. I wouldn't say that, I'm just being a brother."

"Kao-Chan, It's good to see you awake again." Honey said holding the stuffed rabbit close to him.

"Hi honey senpai." Kaoru smiled faintly.

"Tama-Chan, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He said wiping his eyes.

"Hika-Chan wants to come see you Kao-Chan, I told him I wasn't sure if you would be awake but I would come and check."

"Sure Honey senpai, tell him its okay."

"He'll be so happy. He misses you."

"I miss him too."

"I'll give you two some time alone then." Tamaki stood up.

"I really hope theyre wrong Kaoru." He said earnestly.

"Me too. " Tamaki turned to leave.

"Hey boss, thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything you've done for us." The club president smiled, not trusting his words and made his way down the hall where he was met by Kyoya.

"Tamaki, let's take a walk." He suggested grabbing him by the arm.

"Where are we going?" Kyoya didn't answer, instead he pushed him into one of the unused rooms and closed the door.

"Sit down." He instructed, Tamaki did as his friend said.

"What's going on, honey senpai pulled me aside ro tell me you were upset. Talk to me." Instantly the tears flowed.

"You can't tell the others, not yet, especially not Hikaru."

"Alright, what is it that I'm not supposed ro tell?"

"Mommy, we're- we're losing our little devil."


	9. Chapter 9

Kyoya sighed and dropped onto the side of the empty bed.

"He told you then?'

"Sort do we do Kyoya?" Tamaki sobbed.

"There isn't much we can do, be here for him and let him know we -"

"When did you find out?"

"We talked about it yesterday after the doctor left. That's why I took so long coming back."

"How can this happen, he's not supposed to- I mean he can't."

"I'm afraid he can. I've gone so far as to have a second and third opinion. He's lost a lot of blood Tamaki, and It's still happening, the doctor says some internal bleeding stops on its own but Kaoru just seems to get weaker while Hikaru is getting stronger, It's strange how that worked out isn't it?"

"So if it can stop, is there a chance he'll be fine?"

"Not according to the doctors, but I suppose you could still hope, just remember to expect the worst too. It's not good to build false hopes."

Hikaru entered the room quietly and gazed upon his twin.

"It's good to see you're walking Hika, I'm really glad you got your strength back." Kaoru said. Hikaru sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm so glad to see you Kaoru, I was so worried."

"Don't worry-'

"How can you say that, you're so pale and-"

"Don't get upset Hikaru, it won't do you any good. You're finally getting better."

"But you're not, it was supposed to make us both better. This isn't better Kao."

"It takes time. You'll be home soon that's a good thing."

"No, I can't leave you like this." Hikaru brushed some hair out if his brother's face.

"You can come see me, you'll have time off of class and I know for a while you'll need to rest through the day but when you're better-"

"I just want you home with me."

"I know Hika, I want to be home too." Kaoru tried to keep his usual tone. He truly did wish he would see his home again, the music room, the school, he never see them again, he would never again be a host, there would be no more brotherly love act, Hikaru would no longer have a twin. Kaoru hated to think about what hikaru would do in his absence. He didn't regret saving his brother, even after all those thoughts ran through his head.

"I've missed you so much Kaoru."

"I miss you too."

"It's weird to have to sleep in a different room, you're not there to-"

"Come here Hika." Hikaru bent down and Kaoru wrapped his arms around him, allowing hikaru's head to rest on his chest.

"I love you Hikaru, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I Love you too Kaoru, you're the best little brother in the world. But why don't you tell me the truth?" Kaoru released him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're hiding something and I want to know what it is."

"Hika, I'm not-"

"Kaoru, I know you, something isn't right."

"I-"

"No more lies Kaoru, it hurts when you lie to me." Kaoru wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't possibly tell him now.

"Hikaru, I- ow!" He cried painfully.

"Kaoru, what is it?" Hikaru panicked.

"It's okay, I just need the button that controls the pain medicine, I'm sorry." He said reaching over and pressing his button.

"Try to rest Kao, I'm sorry I pushed you."

"This isn't your fault, I just have a little pain that's all."

"That was a little?'

"I've had worse."

"Oh Kaoru, my poor little brother, it must've been terrible."

"Not all that bad, pain is only temporary, it does away eventually." Kaoru hoped Hikaru would remember those words when he was gone, he wanted them to sink in,though he knew Hikaru couldn't take small hints most of the time. He just hoped the loss wouldn't affect him too badly, though he knew otherwise.


	10. Chapter 10

"Kaoru, it's been three days, you're getting worse." Kaoru looked up at Hikaru from his hospital bed.

"Hika, there's something important I need to say to you and you're going to be upset but I need you to choose what you say to me carefully, I know you won't mean it but I don't want it to hurt you later."

"Kaoru, what are you-"

"Come here and sit down." Hikaru sat next to him.

"I wasn't going to tell you until you able to go home, I thought there'd be more time, I want you to know that no matter what, I love you and you didn't do anything to cause this. I'm very sick Hika and.. I'm not going to get better, I didn't want to make this harder on you."

"What does that mean exactly?" Hikaru was dreading the answer.

"It means I'm a terrible brother." Tears fell from the youngest twin's eyes.

"Why would you say that?"

"Because, I'm going to have to do something that I never wanted to do."

"What's that?"

"Hurt you, I hope one day you'll forgive me, I have to leave you soon Hika, very soon, I need you to promise me that you won't shut everyone out, you have to keep going, don't do it alone. You have people around you that care for you let them be there. I-"

"Don't tell me that, Kaoru you can't do that please." Hikaru sobbed.

"I'm so sorry Hika, I'm sorry I can't be there for you. I want you to live and finish school, go and have a life its possible hika, it really is. Promise me you're going to keep live because, Hika, if you don't, all of this would be meaningless. You'll always have me Hika, go and do all the things I can't. You have to live for me."

"I can't Kaoru, what am I supposed to do without you with me, I'll be alone, I won't have you with me"

"You're supposed to move on hika, give yourself time and move on."

"It's not going to be that easy. You and I both know that."

"Please Hika, live and take care of yourself, have a good life, be happy. That's all I want."

"You're asking a lot, I can't let you go Kao, please." He pleaded.

"If I could stay with you Hika, I promise I would, you won't be alone, you'll have the host club and-"

"They're not you. There's always supposed to be two of us, isn't that what you said to me?"

"Yeah, and I can't tell you enough how-" Kaoru stopped and closed his eyes.

"What's wrong Kao?"

"I feel dizzy."

"Should I get someone Kaoru?"

"I don't know."

"If you don't know, I'm going to." Hikaru pressed the call button and he wait for a nurse to come in.

"Kao, you're so cold, please don't close your eyes, I don't want to lose you, I love you Kao. You're the best brother anyone could have and I know I don't deserve you, please little brother, don't-" the pleas and sobs were the last thing Kaoru heard before slipping on silent darkness.

Hikaru had no idea what to do. Kaoru's heart monitor was showing a dangerous drop and close to flat lining.

"No, Kaoru don't, please. I will give you anything, just please don't leave me, please." By the time the nurse arrived and saw what had happened she tried to force Hikaru from the room gently.

As the activity was going on around his brother and Hikaru sobbed, he felt the hosts arrive behind him.

"Hikaru, we should let them do their job, come on." Kyoya said.

"No, Kaoru needs me."

"Hikaru-"

"Kaoru!" He shouted. "Kaoru you promised, you promised to always be there, you're important to me Kao, don't do this."

"Hikaru,please, we really should-"

"Do you hear me Kao, I need you, I'd have nothing. I've never lost anyone, don't be the one to show me what that feels like!" A nurse turned to look at Hikaru.

"Keep talking to him." She called.

"Kaoru, I'm right here and I'll be right here, you can't split up twins don't do that. Do you remember when we were little Kao, it was you and me, you got really sick then too, they said you would die, our parents were ready to accept that. I wasn't, I would sit at your bedside and talk to you, you got better. Do that now, Kaoru hear me and come back. Everyone's with me and we love you, do you remember promising me you'd never leave me?"

"Come here." The doctor said as the medical team stopped and moved from the bed. Hikaru did as he was asked.

"Say something else."

"Can I touch him?"

"Yes." Hikaru reached for his brother's hand.

"Can you feel this, I'm standing right here, I'm waiting for you Kaoru, come back. Please little brother, just come back to me. I'll take care of you, I promise."

The hosts looked at each other in amazement.

"Hey guys, maybe you should come too." Hikaru called. The hosts approached slowly but didn't speak.

"Kao-Chan, wake up please, you're my friend and I don't want you to go. I'll give you usa-Chan if it helps, please stay here." Honey placed the rabbit close to the younger boy.

"Hey, Kaoru, classes won't be the same without you both. The host club would miss you more than you'd ever know. " Haruhi added.

"You better listen carefully Kaoru because I'm only going to say this one time, our host club is family to me, and I don't want to lose that." Kyoya admitted

"The hosts noticed that with each person that spoke, Kaoru seemed to respond to their voices.

"Kaoru, it was difficult for me to get you two into the host club at all, I really want you there, It's not complete without you." Tamaki said.

"See Kaoru, you're so important to us. Please come back.

"Incredible, I've read about this but I've never actually witnessed it. It's absolutely amazing."

"I don't understand what happened." Tamaki said as Hikaru continued to talk to Kaoru.

"In a word, a miracle. I read about a few cases where the bond between twins was so strong that having the two together when it seems that one is dying is enough to do this. You saw that he wasn't responding to anything we were doing. The minute Hikaru called out to him, Kaoru responded to his voice."

"Doctor." The nurse called softly, he turned his attention back to the twins Hikaru sniffled as the tears fell but he could see a faint smile.

"Kaoru, don't scare me like that ever again, I love you."

"H-hika." The weak voice called out and everyone watched in amazement as Kaoru's eyes opened.


	11. Chapter 11

Hikaru sat next to Kaoru's bedside, he held his hand.

"Kaoru, whatever's happening, I'll help you through it, I promise." The conversation with the doctor was still fresh in his mind.

"He's going to be fine now right?" He after nearly losing his brother.

"I wish I could answer that, right now he's here and that's great, but his vitals aren't quite where they need to be, he's not out if danger yet, we've got to keep an eye on must be ready for whatever happens."

"Are you telling me Kaoru could d-" Hikaru couldn't say the word, the very thought terrified him.

"I'm telling you It's very possible. He seems to respond well to you, which is why we moved you in here. Keep in mind that just because he did this once doesn't mean It's definitely going to happen next time."

"Cant you stop it from happening again?" The older twin stared at the doctor.

"No, but we can keep watch in case he needs immediate medical attention it might reduce the risk. Right now he needs someone with him all the time. That doesn't mean it always has to be you. I know It's still tiring for you take time to let yourself rest as well." Hikaru nodded.

"I'll do that." He turned his attention back to his brother who lay asleep in the bed.

"You're so cold Kao, it scares me. I love you, you know that don't you, I need you here. I want you to be okay, everyone does. I won't ever leave you, just live."

"I'm s-sorry Hika, I'm trying." Kaoru said weakly.

"I know you are, are you still hurting Kaoru?" The younger boy didn't answer, he could see the pain in Hikaru's eyes, he knew it was his fault.

"No." He lied, he refused to hurt him anymore than he already had.

"You sure, I could give you-"

"It's fine. I'm sorry about what happened, I didn't mean to-"

"Shh Kao, rest. No one means to have things like that happen. I'm just glad you're here. I need you to stay though, you tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it."

"I know you would. All I want from you is a promise, no matter what happens to me, you're going to keep going." Hikaru sighed.

"Alright Kaoru, I'll promise, only if you promise to keep doing everything you can to be here with me."

"I promise to try." Kaoru whispered.

"Good. I'm going to stay with you and get you better. Kyoya senpai called earlier, he wanted to check on us, you were sleeping so he said if it was okay they'd come visit. He said since it's Friday, they'll stay if we want."

"It doesn't seem fair to ask them to, they have lives too."

"You're right, they do. Lives that we're part of, they wouldn't offer if they didn't want to be here. You need to rest now, save your strength."

Kaoru couldn't hide his guilt, he had caused more trouble for his friends, he sighed.

"What's wrong, are you feeling okay?" Hikaru panicked.

"I'm okay, I was just thinking, "

"About what?"

"It doesn't matter."

"If it didn't matter, you wouldn't be upset. I know you better than that."

"It's really nothing." Kaoru turned his head away from his twin. A second later, Hikaru reached over him, placing a hand on his cheek and gently forced him to meet his gaze.

"Don't turn away Kaoru, I don't like that."

"What's wrong with-"

"Because when you can't look at me, you're really upset or hiding something. Talk to me."

"I can't right now Hika, I'm sorry. I feel very-"

"Very what?"

"It's okay I-"

"Kaoru, I mean it, you can't keep trying to protect me from this."

"I'm just- you're right, I need to rest, you know I don't like lying around like this."

"There's something more to it isn't there?"

"No." Kaoru closed his eyes, he knew Hikaru was right, he couldn't keep this from him forever. But nothing could stop him from trying.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey you two." Haruhi greeted as the hosts entered the room.

"Hey Haruhi." The twins replied in unison, Kaoru did his best to appear to feel better than he actually did, his stomach ached and he felt hot.

"Hikaru, you look tired, do you want to lay down?" Tamaki asked.

"No, I'm fine, Kaoru needs me."

"That's right Hikaru, I do. That means you need to take care of yourself too." Kaoru explained

"You come first Kaoru. You're the one who needs looked after now."

"You can't look after me if -"

"Kaoru, don't worry about me, I'm getting better, I feel a lot better now, you don't need to worry. I'll never leave you."

"Walking a couple steps to your bed isn't leaving. It's taking care of yourself."

"He's right Hikaru, you can't be there for him if you don't follow doctor's orders." Tamaki said.

"I'll be okay if you want to rest." The older twin shook his head.

"I almost lost you Kaoru, I can't leave you, the doctor said you only responded to me, if I leave you-"

"Hika, I know you're scared. I'm sorry, that's my fault but you promised me."

"Yeah, if something happens to you."

"Something did happen, you have to do this for me. If you get sick again and-"

"Rest Kao, please."

"How can I, I'm stopping you from doing what you need to, I'm a terrible brother."

"Kao, that isn't true. You're the best little brother ever. There's no one I'd rather call my twin. If I could pick, it'd be you everytime. " kaoru smiled faintly.

"It scares me to see you lying in a hospital bed Kaoru, and I was so close to losing you. I love you." Hikaru's eyes filled with tears. He looked at Kaoru's pale face, he heard the weakness in his voice and his heart was breaking.

"You'll really be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise me, if I go to sleep, you'll be here when I wake up." Kaoru reached up and brushed the tears away.

"I promise. It's not like I'm alone, everyone's here with us."

"Hika-chan, we'll take care of Kao-Chan if you want to sleep." Honey offered.

"See, I won't be alone, It's okay." It was another several minutes before Hikaru moved. Finally, he made his way over to his bed and laid down. He drifted off slowly into an uneasy sleep.

"How are you feeling Kao-Chan?"

"I feel Okay honey senpai." The shorter boy seemed unconvinced.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I do feel okay, it isn't that bad." Kaoru said.

"I find that hard to believe Kaoru, considering how pale you are, and there's just something in your eyes that-" Haruhi reached out to touch his head only to have Kaoru take hold of her hand gently. He smirked as he caught sight of an annoyed Tamaki from the corner of his eye. He would have continued to irritate him, had he felt better.

"I'm fine."

"You're sweating, you have a fever." She said with concern. " does Hikaru know?"

"If he does, he didn't mention it."

"So you're not denying you have a fever?" Kaoru shook his head.

"No. You notice a lot of things Haruhi."

"Friends usually do when they take the time to really care. The fever isn't the only thing though is it Kaoru?"

"Isn't it enough?"

"More than enough, but you know what I mean." She said sternly.

"It's nothing to worry about, I just have to use the button a little more."

"Kaoru, what about your test results from the other day, I heard they took you for imaging." Kyoya lowered himself into the chair.

"It slowed down, but doesn't seem to be stopping soon."

"What slowed down Kao-Chan?"

"It doesn't matter honey senpai, I'm okay."

"I'll fill you in later."Kyoya promised. Kaoru closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah Boss."

"You don't have to hide things from us you know." Kaoru didn't answer, he was focused on the button he was currently squeezing tightly.

"You're in a lot of pain, I'm so sorry Kaoru." Tamaki said softly.

"I'm not. It's better than what would have happened if I didn't have the operation. I'd rather be a little sick and have some pain, than let that happen."

"Hika-Chan is lucky to have you. Not everyone would feel that way."

"You guys keep saying that. I'm just being a brother. He'd do it for me." Kaoru closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, this pain medicine makes me so tired."

"You need your rest, It's nothing to be sorry for. Sleep if you feel like you need it." Kaoru didn't need told twice, he drifted into what he hoped would be a peaceful sleep.

"What's wrong with Kao-Chan?" Honey asked turning to Kyoya.

"Kaoru's bleeding internally, that's why he's so weak and in pain. He could potentially- well it may not end in his favor. Not a word to Hikaru." The hosts were stunned by this new information, no one wanted to believe it.

"He's having another test tomorrow but-"

"They can stop it right?" Haruhi interjected.

"Some cases stop on their own and the patient gets better, sometimes surgery is the answer, but Kaoru wouldn't survive a second operation. I've met with the doctors privately. " Kyoya explained.

"Can't they just give him some?"

"No. Not while he's still bleeding."

"This is all so hard to believe. Yeah I know it has to be true but-" Tamaki put his arm around Haruhi.

"He's going to be just fine."

Kaoru woke to find himself in a different room. He didn't know what was happening but he wasn't afraid.

"Kaoru, you're awake, how do you feel?" The doctor asked leaning over him.

"Tired of answering that question."

"I understand, but It's important, in case you're wondering, we're going to do an ultrasound, it could have been performed in your room but I thought it would be easier on you if we came in here. Normally It's pretty painless, the gel is fairly cold. Because of your stomach pain, you might find it causes some discomfort. When we get done here, I'm starting you on another IV drip for fever and pain.

Kaoru felt himself begin to give in to sleep but was soon forced out of it by the cold gel, he shivered.

"Just relax now, this will only take a few minutes." Kaoru felt the pressure of the small device on his stomach and moaned painfully.

"I know, I'm sorry. Just lie still and rest."

"Who can rest with this much pain?"

"Try." The doctor instructed. Kaoru did his best to handle his pain until finally the doctor was finished.

"I was hoping that it would have stopped by now since the GI bleeding slowed."

"Am I going to die?"

"If things keep up, It's-It's likely. I'm sorry. Likely isn't definite though. There's still a chance." Kaoru knew this news should have been devastating, but he felt strangely calm. He thought that maybe it was a sign of some kind, was he ready to die? Maybe that was the reason for his lack of fear. Whatever the reason, Kaoru knew one thing for sure, he couldn't go, for Hikaru's sake. He had to keep going, fight it to his last breath if he had to.

The thought of what could happen to Hikaru was far too difficult for him to take. He could hear his twin's words playing in his thought.

"Damn it Kaoru, why did you do this, you lied, said we'd always be together. I'll never forgive you for this!" He would shout. Kaoru sighed. He wouldn't allow himself to be that selfish, no matter how weak or how much pain he had. He had no right to be.

"Are you okay Kaoru?"

"Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be after what you said, but I'm okay for the most part."

"Would you like me to take you back now and set up the medicine?"

Kaoru nodded. "Hikaru's probably awake by now. He'll wonder where I am. Do you think you could give me something for pain that isn't strong enough to make me really tired, just take some of it away, like before?"

"You're going to a lot of trouble for your brother. What is it you want, if you didn't have a twin,-"

"Then we wouldn't be talking now."

"For argument sake, you have no brother, you're lying in the hospital, in this same condition, what would you ask for?"

"Nothing. If It's just me, I would have stopped trying by now. But I can't, not now."

"So you would have let yourself go?" Kaoru nodded.

"Things are that bad for you and still, It's about him. Can't say I could do the same, and I do have a twin. A sister though we've never shared the bond most twins are said to. We're night and day, fought all the time. I look at the two of you, Hikaru's willingness to protect you, yours to die for him, to keep it from him, that's really something." The doctor took Kaoru back to the room where Hikaru was talking to a nurse.

"I understand, thank you." He said.

"Hey Kao, how are you?" He asked turning his attention to his little brother. Kaoru put on a smile.

"I can't complain, are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. I haven't been tired or hurting like I was. I'm just worried now, when you're better, and we're both home, I'll be more relaxed."

"No you won't, this is going to bother you a lot longer than that and you know it." Kaoru said.

"You'll be with me and we can-"

"I'm with you now and you're not doing any better."

"You're still in the hospital Kao, how do you expect me to feel?"

"I'm not worried, you shouldn't be either." Kaoru laid still as the nurse began the Iv, she laid the button beside Kaoru who was able to press it without his brother seeing, but the action didn't go unnoticed by everyone.

Kyoya shook his head, it amazed him how fair Kaoru would go to protect his older brother from his true condition. Kyoya whispered something to Tamaki who nodded and turned to Haruhi, sharing the information.

"Hey Hikaru, you know how the doctor said you were alright to talk if someone was with you?"

"What about it?"

"You remember those machines we went to earlier?"

"Yeah but-"

"Can you walk with me?" Haruhi asked. "I know I'm asking a lot-"

"You're asking too much, I have to be with Kaoru."

"Hika, It's just down the hall, I'll be okay." After quite a bit of convincing, Hikaru agreed leaving Kyoya free to speak.

"Kaoru, I understand that you want him to feel better about this but I'm not sure that in your condition It's the best for him."

"You want me to tell him I'm dying, do you have any idea what that's going to do to him?"

"What will happen if you do and he -"

"He's going to hate me anyway when I do. I just want a little more time before that, is that too much to ask?"

'Kaoru, I'm just saying to let him know It's possible. Sometimes It's best to be prepared."

"Tell me senpai, how do you prepare yourself to watch someone you're this close to die?" There was a long silence as Kyoya and Kaoru looked at each other.

"You really can't. But if Hikaru knows it won't be such a big shock." Tamaki's voice showed his own pain. The club was a family, each host was important to it, vital to the group. Tamaki himself had never before witnessed someone die, the thought of his family being torn apart by something so final scared him beyond words.

"M-maybe It's better for both of you to let him know while you two can talk about it together."

"I don't want any of you to cry for me, I'm not upset, yeah it would be nice to live, there are things I wanted to do, but what I did was much more important than any of those." He said noticing the tears in Tamaki's eyes.

"You talk about this like It's not a big deal. It's only a possibility and yet- you're ready for this aren't you?" Kyoya sounded hurt.

"I think so."

"You're fifteen, how can you be so ready to-"

"I really hope you don't find out what that feels like anytime soon." Kaoru said honestly.

"I'll talk to Hikaru, but not yet, right now, I need to rest, I already know how he's going to take it. I have to be ready for it."


	13. Chapter 13

A/n: mentions of blood.

"Sit down, I need to talk to you." Kaoru said.

"What is it Kao?" Hikaru sat down in the chair by his brother's bed.

"I need to tell you something and I know you're not going to be happy about it, but I need you to know." Kaoru paused trying to think of the right words.

"Kao, you're scaring me." Kaoru sighed.

"I need you to think about the things you say to me carefully, don't say something you'll regret later, I'm saying that because I'll know you don't mean it, but I don't want you to think back on it and-"

"Kaoru, what's going on?"

"I'm really sick, and right now there's nothing the doctor can do. I-"

"What are you telling me?" Hikaru felt sick, his heart felt like it had dropped to his stomach.

"I don't know another way to say this-"

"What do you mean, 'really sick?'

"I'm sick, just like I said, there's a chance that I won't get better, please don't make me say it Hika, tell me you understand." Kaoru was becoming anxious as he thought of what would happen if he did.

"Tell me this is some really terrible, cruel joke." Hikaru pleaded.

"Would I ever do that to you Hika, especially something like this?"

"You're really telling me that you're-"

"I'm telling you It's a possibility, not that its definitely going to happen." He could already see the pain and anger in his twin.

"Hikaru, please don't-"

"Damn it Kaoru, this isn't fair, not you!" He raged it was only a matter of time now.

"You promised, you said you'd always be there for me, how the hell can you if-"

"Careful Hika, please."

"You want to break your promise and you talk about being careful with what I say."

"I'm not asking you to do it for me, I want you to for you. You don't mean any of this, I know that-"

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because I know It's going to hurt you later and I don't want that for you."

"what happened to we're twins for a reason, tell me Kaoru, you're the one that said there was supposed to be two of us." The anger continued but tears were visible in his eyes.

"Hikaru-"

"I need some air, I can't be here right now." He said.

"Hikaru-"

"What?"

"I love you,I know you're upset but no matter what, you're still my big brother and I'll always love you." This seemed to only make the older twin angrier and he stormed out of the room and down the hall. Kaoru leaned back in bed. The physical pain he felt was nothing compared to the pain it caused him to see Hikaru that upset.

"I'm sorry Kaoru." Haruhi said after Hikaru left the room with Tamaki.

"I knew he was going to act like this. I can't expect anything different really." Kaoru closed his eyes, he was getting a headache and the dizziness was starting again.

"I guess with all things considered- Kaoru, what's-"

"Go wait outside." Haruhi seemed confused.

"Are you-"

"Please go wait outside, and have the doctor come in." Haruhi didn't waste any time, with a promise to return quickly she left. Kaoru leaned over the bed and vomited, even before he saw the crimson on the floor, he could taste it making his nausea worse. By the time he had finished and collapsed on the bed, shaking and weakened, the doctor had arrived, he could hear the doctor's voice but couldn't focus on the words everything was fading from his view.

"Hikaru, I can understand you being upset, but don't you think you were just a little too hard on Kaoru?"

"No. It's not fair."

"You're right, It's not. But instead of fighting, which would only hurt both of you shouldn't you get together and-"

"I can't be in there when he talks about that."

"I know It's hard, no one knows what will happen right now. He could get better. "

"He better. If he- I'll never forgive him."

"Then you're going to hurt yourself. He knows better, and I'm sure he's forgiven you for what you said already."

"I don't care."

"I think you do. You tell yourself you don't, but he's your brother, the one person who's always on your side no matter what, you can't tell me you don't care." Tamaki insisted.

"Hikaru!" Haruhi shouted running toward them.

"What's wrong?'

"I don't know exactly, Kaoru and I were talking and then he told me to go outside and to get the doctor then the doctor said I should find you." Dispite his claim, Hikaru didn't need to be told twice. He ran back to the room without a word. when he reached his brother, he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Kaoru lay still on the bed, his eyes closed and for a moment, Hikaru couldn't tell if he was breathing.

"Hikaru, I know this is difficult for you, but I think now would be a good time for you and your friends to say whatever it is you want him to know."

Hikaru would have dropped to the floor if not for Tamaki holding him up.

"Kao" he whispered in shock, he took a step toward the bed. Tamaki stayed close until Hikaru was sitting on the edge of Kaoru's hospital bed.

"Can he hear me?"

"I believe so."

"Kaoru, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, don't do this. I swear I'll be a better brother, just don't do this." He sobbed, leaning down to rest his head on Kaoru's chest. He listened to his twin's faint heart beat.

"It doesn't have anything to do with-" Haruhi started, Tamaki shook his head. It hadn't registered with them and wouldn't until both were alone and had time to reflect on the situation.

"Forgive me Kaoru, I love you. This is my fault, if you want to get back at me fine, but not like this."

"I'll give you some time." The doctor announced and excused himself from the room.

"Haruhi, will you please call Kyoya and honey-senpai?" Tamaki asked wanting to spare her from witnessing as much as possible.

"Sure senpai, I'll go right now." All Tamaki could do now was stand there as the family he had worked so hard to build, slowly fell apart.


	14. Chapter 14

It didn't take long for the missing hosts to assemble in Kaoru's room. Hikaru still remained leaning on his twin.

"Kaoru, you're not supposed to- everyone's here now. Don't you want to wake up now, tell us you're okay?" Hikaru pleaded. The hosts felt lost, Haruhi found it difficult to remain in the room. She allowed Tamaki to hold her hand.

"Hika-Chan, I know you don't want to hear this, because I really don't want to say it, Kao-Chan is really sick and we all want him better, if that can't happen, and this is just something to think about, maybe you should think about letting him pick what's best for him."

"Let him die?"

"Not really. Let him know its okay if he needs to though. He's probably afraid to let you down. That can cause a lot of stress for him. He needs you to be strong enough to take that pressure off him."

"I'm not giving him permission to die. It's not okay." Hikaru snapped.

"I've made arrangements for us to be here for both of you. In case you want some company." Kyoya informed them.

"Why Kaoru, he's all I have."

"You have us too Hika-Chan. We'll be here for you."

"Thanks but It's not the same. If Kaoru leaves me...then I'll be so lost. Do you hear me Kao?"

No one spoke for a long time, they could only stare at the twins, their hearts breaking.

"What do we do Senpai?" Haruhi whispered.

"There's nothing we can do but wait and see what happens. I really wish there was something." Tamaki whispered back. Neither one wanting to disturb the the brothers.

"Come back Kaoru, I'll do anything you want. I'll give you anything. Please little brother. You need to be here with us." Hikaru wiped away his tears.

"You know,our parents used to say I was the strong twin, and we let them think that, but It's not true, Kaoru's the one that can deal with things, he knows what to do. I've always gone to him, for everything. Now..." The doctor entered the room quietly.

"Hikaru, I am so sorry, but I need you to step aside so I can-"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know you're hurting, but I-"

"What's that thing?" Hikaru snapped eyeing the device in the doctor's hand.

"It's an ultrasound machine, we use these little ones for patients-"

"Why would you use that, he's not pregnant."

"It has other uses. May I?" The older twin didn't move.

"Hika-Chan, please, he just wants to check on Kao-Chan." Hikaru stood up but stayed at his brother's bedside.

As the doctor turned down the cover and prepared to put the cold substance on Kaoru's abdomen, Hikaru stroked his brother's hair.

"What do you need that for exactly?"

"To check his abdomen, if the bleeding stops, we can try-"

"What bleeding?"

"Your brother's bleeding internally, in his stomach. That's also affecting his blood pressure. Now if the bleeding stops, we might be able to give him a transfusion and hopefully-"

"Can't you make it stop?"

"The only option besides rest, would be surgery b-"

"So why don't you do that?"

"He's too weak to survive it, and even if he could handle the operation, to do that may do more harm than good."

"But he'd have a chance if he does?"

"Yes, if he can make it through. Only the other hand, if he can't, it can end his life faster if not immediately."

"You basically told me to say goodbye to him, his he really dying?"

"It's a matter of time, I'm sorry."

"I'll lose him either way?"

"The odds aren't in his favor."

"Did it stop?" Hikaru looked the monitor but wasn't sure what he was seeing.

"No."

"Don't worry Kaoru, I'm going to help you through this." He said, still stroking Kaoru's hair affectionately.

"If you're considering the surgery, well have to get some blood ready for a transfusion, we'll have to start it immediately after."

"So what's the problem?"

"It takes some time to-"

"Take mine."

"Hikaru-"

"We're twins, we have everything the same inside, It's been a while since I was sick, take it."

"He's going to have to get stronger first."

"I really think he can. I'll help him."

"If this doesn't work-"

"At least we tried." The doctor turned to Kyoya who seemed unsure at first, then nodded.

"Alright, if by some miracle, Kaoru gets some strength back soon, we'll try it." The doctor replaced the hospital robe and blanket before leaving.

"Hear that Kao, you have to be strong for me. Be strong and live. I'll take care of you Kao, it won't be about me anymore, not anymore. You're going to come first. Do this for me Kaoru, and I swear I'll keep my promise. I love you little brother." He cleared his throat.

"Will you guys help too?"

" just tell us what you need, we'll do whatever we can." Tamaki promised though in his heart he knew it wouldn't end well.


	15. Chapter 15

"Come on kaoru, please?" Hikaru pleaded, he had curled up in the bed to be close to his brother.

"Do you remember when we were five or six and we went outside in the snow to build our first snowman, or when we played- Kao?" Hikaru sat up.

"Kaoru, can you hear me?" Kaoru's head moved slightly in his direction.

"Kaoru. Come on little brother. Wake up, I'm here." Hikaru encouraged.

"Come back to me. I've missed you." Kaoru seemed to have fallen back into unconsciousness momentarily.

"Kaoru, if you don't wake up now, I'm just going to keep bothering you until you do."

"Don't do that hikaru, I'll go right back to sleep." Kaoru said, his voice barely audible.

"The hell you will. I might never let you sleep again." Hikaru threatened.

"You can't do that."

"Watch me."

"Hika, It's cold." Hikaru walked around the bed to his and took the blanket off, he laid it over Kaoru.

"I can't take your-"

"I'm not using it right now, if I'm cold, I'll take It back okay?"

"No you won't, especially when I don't feel good."

"Yeah, you're right, I could never do that to you, I can ask for another one. How's your stomach?" Kaoru simply stared.

"Alright, stupid question, I know. Why did you hide this from me Kaoru?"

"I told you I'm-"

"You said you're real sick, you never said you were bleeding internally, why?"

"I didn't want you to be anymore upset than you were."

"You said you were dying Kao, how much more painful does it get?" Hikaru tried not to be angry but it was difficult.

"I wanted to protect you. I'm sorry."

"Kaoru, It's not good to hide these things from me. I know you want to- Kao, no more secrets. If you don't feel good, I want you to tell me, I'm your brother, I'm supposed to take care of you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to, I want you to know how important you are to me."

"I know I am Hika, you're with me now, not every little brother in the world is so lucky."Kaoru smiled.

"Can you do something for me?"

"Depends on what."

"I talked to the doctor the other day and he said if you get stronger, he'll try to stop the bleeding with surgery, right now you're too weak but if you rest and work on getting your strength back-"

"Hikaru, It's not going to happen, can't we just enjoy being brothers while-"

"Kaoru, please. I know It's asking a lot and with your stomach aches and suffering, I really have no right to ask you but I'm going to."

"I can't, it hurts too much." Hikaru took his brother's hand, he noticed how cold and clammy it was.

"I know it hurts Kaoru, you're uncomfortable and sick...but I can't let you die. Look, everyone's here for you." hikaru pointed to the sleeping hosts curled up on the chairs.

"They've been here all weekend."

"They didn't have to do that, wasn't this weekend that-"

"The boss cancelled it so we could all be here."

"I feel kind of bad,,he was looking forward to it."

"Don't feel bad Kaoru, you're much more important." Tamaki said quietly. "We can always reschedule evens,that's no problem. But we couldn't replace you. The guests were asking about you two. When they heard both of you weren't feeling well, they were very concerned."

"I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Please think about this carefully, you told me there are things you still want to do, you could have the chance to do it."

"You're not doing this alone Kao, we're here with you. I'm staying and everyone else will be here as much as possible. We love you."

"I-"

"Just try Kaoru."

"Okay Hika, but I can't promise anything."

"All I want you to do is try, I'll do everything I can to help make you comfortable." The older twin vowed.

No one seemed to notice that honey was awake and listening quietly. Nearly losing Kaoru made him think about his own brother, he had no idea what he would do if his younger brother ever did something like that, if he had come so close to death. It was late that afternoon when Honey returned home for a short time to find his brother practicing.

"Chika-Chan?' He call looking at the younger boy.

"Do you have to bother me Mitsukuni, I'm working on-"

"I only need a few minutes." Chika sighed but agreed.

"What is it?"

"Chika-Chan, I know you don't like me, but lately I've been thinking about something." Tears filled the shorter boy's eyes. Chika had seen his brother cry before but there was something about it this time that was getting to him.

"Thinking about what?" Before Chika could react, honey had pulled him into a hug.

"I love you Chika-Chan, will you promise me something please?"

"It depends on what." Chika said in shock.

"Promise me you won't die before me, I couldn't-" as Mori watched in silent wonder, Chika returned the hug.

"You may not believe this Mitsukuni, but I love you too, I don't act like it, but I do."


	16. Chapter 16

"You're doing really good Kaoru, I'm proud of you." Hikaru praised. Kaoru smiled weakly.

"It's going to be okay, the doctor should be here soon and he can tell us if you're well enough. Then you'll be better and things can go back to the way they used to be."

"I hope so, it would be great to go home and be normal."

"It's going to happen kaoru. I'll take care of you don't worry." Hikaru vowed.

"I'm not worried, I know you'll do what you can. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. You always take care of me. "

"We take care of each other. Let's try to keep it that way okay?" Kaoru nodded. He loved his twin but just wanted to sleep, if only to not feel the pain. He had decided to try not to use the pain medicine until everyone was asleep, the doctor had added more after the last examination when the younger boy couldn't move without an increase in pain, it was related to the bleeding somehow Kaoru remembered that much, but couldn't focus on the entire explanation.

The medication made him sleep but when he would open his eyes, Hikaru would be at his side looking frightened. Kaoru could only guess it was because he was unable to wake up not long before. For Hikaru, he had to learn to deal with his pains.

"They'll be here soon Kaoru, Kyoya- senpai said they're not opening the host club until we're back. He said that it wouldn't be as productive, even with the others there."

"It's not really fair though is it Hikaru?"

"What?"

"They stopped everything to be here, I know they said we're important but I can't help thinking I'm keeping them from doing the things they need or want to do."

"They're doing this because they want to. I told you this before, when we were little, do you remember that time you were really sick and we tried everything to get you better, I sat at your bedside and you hated it because I could've been doing something I wanted to do."

"Yeah, I remember, after that we started sharing a room because you were afraid something would happen to me. Don't you ser Hika, I'm a burden to-"

"Don't say that Kao, never, ever think that, it scares me."

"I'm sorry I didn't-"

"It's okay, just rest, you have to understand that thinking like that isn't making this any easier."

"But-"

"Kaoru, you are not a burden, you will never be and I will tell you as many times as I need to."

"Hikaru, Kaoru, how are you two feeling this afternoon?" The doctor asked.

"I'm okay, but I don't think Kaoru feels very good."

"I'm-"

"Kaoru, if you say you're fine, I'm going to be very upset with you for lying."

"Why are you trying to sound like mother?"

"I'm not I just want you to tell The truth. If you don't feel well and I know you don't, you can't say you do, I know you don't want me upset but I don't want you sick."

"I am sick Hika, there's nothing you-'

"Kaoru, please don't do this."

"I feel terrible." He confessed.

"In what way?" The doctor took the stethoscope from around his neck.

"Every way there is."

"Have you been using your button?"

"Yes." He said truthfully.

"I never see you with it."

"That's because I wait for you to go to sleep when I can. The way you look at me, I know it bothers you."

"Kaoru, It's not about me, if you need your medicine, whether I'm awake or not, take it. I'd rather have you sleep than in so much pain you can't deal with it."

"As you both know, we did some tests and they came back okay-"

"What does that mean okay?"

"They could have been better but they aren't terrible. Based on the results, and The fact that Kaoru seems to really have gained some of his strength back, I think we can attempt the surgery if It's what you want."

"Yes. If the circumstance is the same." Hikaru said before Kaoru could respond.

"Unfortunately it is, it hasn't stopped. "

"Then we don't have a choice. "Hikaru said, the younger twin sighed.

"It's okay with you right kaoru?"

"Not really, but I promised."

"Thanks Kaoru, I know It's hard."

"I'll be okay."

"That's right Kaoru, we need you to be." Kaoru didn't respond.

"How soon can we do this?"

"Well, Kaoru will need a few days and we'll get a scheduled time then."

"That's good then right?"

"Yes. I will need to get back to you on a time though. If when we're ready, he has maintained this condition, we can do it."

"You just need to stay this way Kaoru, and then you're going to be better.'

"Yeah, that's good."

"You don't look happy Kao, What-"

"I'm tired and I don't feel good, I just need some sleep. I'm sorry Hikaru."

"Then rest. I know you're having a hard time. It's alright, I promise you'll be better." Kaoru closed his eyes.

"Will your friends be visiting today?" He heard the doctor as.

"A little later. Why?'

"We talked about what he was going to need, when they arrive, I can take you to have it done."

"It won't be a problem. I'll be ready." Hikaru promised.

" then I'll leave you two, try to get some rest too Hikaru." The older twin nodded.

"What's he taking Hikaru?" Kaoru asked without opening his eyes.

"Nothing important, sleep, you'll feel better."

"No secrets, isn't that what you said?"

"Yeah Kao, I'm not-"

"Tell me."

"Kaoru, you've been bleeding a lot, you're going to need a transfusion after your surgery, he's taking some blood so you can be okay."

"No. You were sick, you shouldn't be doing things like that."

"Kaoru, you promised."

"To have the surgery, not make you sick again."

"I won't be, not unless I lost you."

"Come on Kaoru, I'm not going to die from it, and look, that kidney is working, I'm not sleeping all the time, I'm out of bed, let me make you better."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, but I can't do that it 's not right to ask for-"

"Kao, little brother, you never asked me, it was my idea to give it to you. The doctor said I'm okay to do this for you."

"Hikaru- I'm not letting you give up anything, there's no guarentee I'll live, chances are I won't."

"You still have a chance Kao, but not the choice, you have to do this."

"You can't force me to."

"Of course I can, I just really don't want to. I want you to do this so we can both be better."

"Hikaru-"

"Tell me you wouldn't do the same thing."

"You know I'd give you everything I could if you needed it."

"Then why is this different?"

"Because you just needed a new kidney and shouldn't."

"I'm doing it. This isn't debatable." Hikaru said sternly.

"So if I die and-"

"You better not."

"You know I-"

"Kaoru, you're my little brother, I can't sit here while you're sick and not do anything. Please?" Hikaru took his brother's hand in his own and brushed back a bit of hair from his face.

"You've got a fever Kaoru." He said with concern.

"It happens on and off, I'll probably have chills again late. It's usually how it works."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry Kao."

"You didn't do this."

"Yelling at you isn't helping. It's probably making it worse."

"It's okay Hika, you're just being a big brother."

"Hey guys, how are you feeling?" The twins smiled faintly.

"Hey Haruhi." They said in unison. The remaining hosts followed her inside.

"Mommy, our poor little Kaoru is-" Tamaki began as soon as he saw the boy's pale face.

"He's sick, you can't expect him to be springing from his bed to greet us."

"Don't worry you guys, he's going to be fine. The doctor said in a few days he can have the surgery." Hikaru announced.

"That's great Hika-Chan!" Honey said with a smile.

"Since you guys are here, can I ask you to stay with him, I have something I need to do."

"Sure Hika-Chan, we'll take care of Kao- Chan for you."

"Thanks honey- senpai, it won't be long." He turned his attention to his brother.

"Are you alright with this Kaoru?" He wanted Kaoru to know it was important to him for Kaoru to agree. The younger twin nodded.

"Yeah, It's okay, only if you're sure."

"I am." Hikaru hugged Kaoru gently before leaving the room.

"So how are you Kaoru?" Tamaki asked.

"I feel terrible." He answered.

"Kao-Chan, can I say something?" Kaoru nodded.

"You know Chika-Chan and I aren't really close, but seeing how sick you are, and that this happened so Hika-Chan could live, it really made me think about him. I had a talk with him and hugged him, he hugged me back and said he does love me, you inspired me to do that. We won't ever been as close as you and Hika-Chan, but we're closer now. He has a Competition Saturday, and actually said he wanted me there if I could. So thank you Kao-Chan, for being so brave and helping me understand what being a brother really means." The hosts were speechless.

"I-I don't know what to say, I'm happy to hear you're starting to get along. You'll have to tell us how it goes." Kaoru said.

"No, I can't just leave you guys, It's not right. Chika-Chan will understand."

"But honey-senpai, I can't ask you ro stay, he wants you there, if you don't go, he may never ask again, it night hurt him to see that he's finally opening up but you didn't take his invitation." Kaoru said visibly shivering from the strong chill that ran through his body.

"But Kao-Chan, what about you?"

"I want you to go. I'll have Hikaru and when you come visit again, you can tell us about it."

"Really?" Again the younger boy nodded.

"You don't have to feel bad about not being here all the time, I know you guys have things you'd like to do. You can't put your lives on hold for us."

"Mommy, our Kaoru is so brave, and selfless, he's ill and yet he puts us before himself!" The hosts sighed at the reaction.

Kaoru was glad for the normal display, he had missed it.


	17. Chapter 17

Hikaru hated waiting, he hated himself for not being able to help Kaoru who was now in surgery. He hadn't slept the previous night, neither twin could. Thoughts of what could happen flooded their minds. Hikaru knew that if Kaoru didn't live the world would fall apart around him, the one constant in his life would be taken and he would be alone.

The fear in his heart grew rapidly.'this could be the last night I have with him, and I haven't even told him how much I appreciate him or that I want him to get to do all the things he's always wanted to do.' He thought looking at his little brother who was clearly worried, though he doubted his concern was for himself.

Kaoru was preoccupied with his concern for Hikaru if he didn't get through the procedure. He could imagine his twin being unable to keep his promise, quitting the host club and withdrawing from the world, lying in their room alone, staring at the ceiling blankly, becoming angry and giving up. He felt the tears falling but drew no attention to them.

"Hika?" Kaoru had said quietly.

"Yeah Kao?"

"Do you remember your promise?"

"Yeah."

"I really need you to keep it."

"I will Kaoru, don't worry, but you keep yours so I can forget mine."

"If I can't, if this is all the time we have, I just want you to know that I do love you, and you'll always have me in a way. Hikaru, you're the best big brother ever. Remember that there's nothing you could have done for me that would have changed it."

"I love you too Kaoru, you're always here for me, I'm so selfish and you still stand beside me. I'll always keep you close little brother, just don't make it be just in memory. I can't say goodbye Kaoru, I just-"

"We aren't saying that, we're just talking. Do you remember when we had everyone thinking we were arguing?"

"Yeah, that went on for days, it was pretty convincing."

"Yeah."

"Hey Kaoru?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't die tomorrow okay?"

"I'll try not to." Though Kaoru didn't show it, he was feeling tremendous pressure from his friends and brother, he didn't want to let them down, but he the constant requests were causing anxiety which was leading to feel worse.

"Hikaru, are you okay?" Haruhi asked sitting down next to him.

"Am I supposed to be, Kaoru may not live through this, I'm out here waiting, there's nothing I can do to help him and I'm terrified. What part of this is supposed to make me feel okay?" He snapped.

"None of it. Kaoru's going to be okay though."

"You don't know that."

"He loves you, he wouldn't leave you like that."

"Hika-Chan!" Honey called hurrying over to him, his brother at his side.

"Honey senpai, you-" they looked at the pair in surprise.

"Chika-Chan wanted to see how you were doing and ask about Kao-Chan." Chika bowed his head respectfully.

"If I'm intruding, I can go."

"It's not tha, we just aren't used to seeing the two of you like..this." Hikaru said.

"Please sit down." Tamaki offered him a chair.

"Thank you. Has there been any word on him?" Chika asked lowering himself into the chair.

"No. It's been hours."

"I know it isn't my place to say, and as an outsider to your club you may not care for my opinion but sometimes no news is good, and you all have a very difficult task of waiting that's probably the hardest job of all. Is there something I can do?"

"Not unless you can make this go faster and make Kaoru better."

"Unfortunately that's not an ability I posses."

"Hey, you had that competition this morning right?"

"Yes, but is that really what you want to hear about right now?"

"It's a good distraction Chika-Chan." Honey said.

"Who won?" Haruhi asked though the sport meant nothing to her, she needed a small break from her fears. Chika smiled.

"I did."

"That's really great." Hikaru said his heart was breaking.

"Of course he did, Chika-Chan is one of the very best-" before honey could finish, the surgeon appeared.

"Hikaru, I need to speak with you." His expression was unreadable. The hosts gathered closer to their friend.

"He's okay right?"

"Hikaru, the good news is that Kaoru got through the operation and he's receiving the transfusion he needs."

"That's great, that means he's going to be fine right?"

"It means he's got some strength in him, but during the procedure, we came very close to losing him. Sometimes when that happens they can get better, you need to prepare yourself for-"

"He's dying isn't he?' The question came as a shock to the other hosts.

"Chances are good that even with the blood you've given, yes. I'm sorry." Hikaru felt numb, he needed his little brother, wanted him to live, to always be there.

"Can we see him?"

"Of course, he's in recovery. If you follow me I can take you back." The hosts stood up and followed the doctor.

"Mommy, our little-" Tamaki began to sob.

"Don't Tamaki, we're just going to see him, It's going to be fine."

"How can you say that Ky-"

Haru-Chan, its best to let him be right now, this is hard on all of us and we'll get through it differently." Honey said. Hikaru couldn't speak, couldn't process what had been said.

"He's right through here, if you need anything-"

"Thank you." The doctor nodded and left them. For a long time the hosts stood still, the deathly pale boy lying in front of them couldn't possibly be their Kaoru, the decided that quickly and wished it were true. Hikaru stood at his brother's bedside silently, tears falling from his eyes as he reached out and touched Kaoru's hand.

"You're so cold little brother, I'm so sorry, please forgive me for being so selfish, we all have been. I know you've been in a lot of pain and as much as I want it Kao,,I'm not going ro put you through it anymore. I need you with me and I'd love it if you would stay, my world could never be the Same without you but-"he took in a deep breath.

"You need to be first Kaoru, if you're hurting as bad as I've seen, feeling so sick Kaoru, don't push yourself if It's not what you want. I'll never be okay with this, not really but I love you so much, I'm willing to- you'll always be my little brother Kaoru, and if you feel like you can't do this, you won't be letting me down. I just don't want you to hurt anymore."He sobbed resting his head on Kaoru's chest. The hosts didn't move any closer, though they too were sobbing, even Kyoya who had turned from them, did so to hide his own pain. Chika pulled his brother into a hug.

"The doctors have done everything they can Kaoru, you need to take over bow, so the choice is yours." Hikaru whispered through sobs. The only thing that was certain, was that the hosts weren't going anywhere, they would sit with their friends until his last breath


	18. Chapter 18

"I'm so proud of you Kaoru, now if we can just get you to open your eyes, just for a second." Hikaru encouraged stroking his brother's hair.

"You really scared me you know. Doctor says your blood pressure is stabilizing really fast. Everyone is going to be so happy. They're going to be here soon. I'm going to take care of you Kaoru, I promise. You helped me feel better, and that's what I'll do for you." Kaoru had been moved to a private room shortly after his surgery and the host club stayed by his side for several days, though the young twin had not opened his eyes, his friends spoke to him, telling him how much they cared and no matter what choice he made, they were grateful to have known him.

"The sun is really pretty today Kao, you should look outside, you'd like it. You won't be able to see it if you're sleeping though." Hikaru sighed.

"I miss you." He said honestly, his eyes widened but a smile appeared on his face as he saw Kaoru attempting to open his eyes.

"Kaoru, little brother, you can do this, we all miss you and wouldn't it be great if you were awake when they get here?" He took Kaoru's hand.

"Come on Kaoru, you're doing great, I'm right here with you." After several minutes, Kaoru's amber eyes looked up into Hikaru's.

"H-Hikaru" he whispered weakly.

"Hey little brother, how are you feeling?"

"Better."

"Yeah?" Kaoru nodded.

"That's great, I'm so- oh Kaoru,I thought I was losing you." Hikaru leaned down giving his twin a gentle hug.

"I promised I wouldn't leave you."

"It's been really different without you. You promise to keep getting stronger and better?"

"If you promise not to cry anymore."

"You scare the hell out of me Kaoru."

"I know, I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" Hikaru didn't reply, he simply held the younger boy tighter, Kaoru knew he has already been forgiven.

"Hey big brother?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Staying with me, and putting what I need before what you wanted."

"That's how it should be Kaoru, as your big brother, I should be taking care of you. I'm just so happy you're here."

"So am I Hikaru, I wouldn't be if you hadn't give me that blood." Hikaru lifted his head to look into his brother's eyes. Kaoru, I'd give you anything, if you told me right now that you thought the moon would make you feel better, believe me, somehow you'd get it."

"I do believe that."

"Kao-Chan, you're awake!" Honey exclaimed, a bit louder than he meant to. The hosts filed into the room excitedly.

"Hey Kaoru, how are you?" Haruhi asked standing next to his bed.

"Better." Kaoru repeated his earlier answer.

"Kaoru, It's really great to see you awake." Tamaki smiled.

"I hope you realize that the club has been losing money since we haven't opened. You are planning to return aren't you kaoru?" Kyoya asked in a business like tone.

"As soon as I can."

"Well, I hope you're going to be ready to work."

"How can you say something like that kyoya, our little Kaoru is just coming back to us and you-" Tamaki's ranting was sure to go on for hours.

"Hey Senpai, Kaoru still needs to rest, maybe you shouldn't-"

"It's okay Haruhi, let him go, It's nice to see a bit of what normally happens. I actually feel like I can rest easier that way." Kaoru said.

"I can't wait to get you home Kaoru, then you can be more comfortable and you'll be so much better. We'll get back to our normal days and everything really will be okay, won't it?"

"Yeah Hika, everything will be fine."


	19. Chapter 19

"Do you really have to do this?" Hikaru asked after the doctor examined him for what he hoped was the last time.

"If you want Kaoru home, we have to be sure. You can expect some of the pain to happen off and on with him. It's from having the surgery and not fully healing before needing a second. It's possible he's going to have some tenderness in his abdomen for a little while but that shouldn't last long. If he gets tired, let him rest but help him slowly get back to his activities. The same goes for you Hikaru, for a while, if you need it, rest. You don't have to stay on bed all day, just take it easy. I'm afraid school is out of the question until after our follow up at least."

"Can he come home today?"

"I don't know, I have to take a look." The doctor turned to Kaoru, and the hosts hoped today would be the day.

"Kaoru, how are you this morning?"

"I think I'm a lot better." A hint of his weakness could still be heard in his voice. The doctor proceeded to check his heart and vital signs.

"Much better Kaoru, your heart is strong and your vitals are a little bit off but It's nothing dangerous, let's look at you abdomen, I want to just make sure It's doing alright." Hikaru stood on the other side of his brother and held his hand.

"It's okay Kaoru, I'm right here." The younger twin nodded. The doctor placed his hands on his patient's stomach and applied pressure.

"That hurts." Kaoru said calmly.

"So by your reaction, It's nowhere near as painful as it was?"

"No. But it does still hurt."

"Kaoru, can you try to do something for me?" The doctor asked gently.

"What?"

"I want you to stand up slowly, then I want you to walk to the door. You've been on bed rest for a long time. I need to be sure you can do this before I make a final decision."

"I don't know if-"

"I'll help you Kao, we'll go slow." Kaoru let his brother help him stand and he adjusted his robe.

"Ready little brother?"

"I think so."

"You can do it Kao-Chan!" Honey cheered happily.

"Come on Kaoru, you can do this, take your time." Haruhi advised.

"Mommy look, our Kaoru is walking is that wonderful?"

"Yes Tamaki."

"You're doing really great Kaoru,and I really am proud of you." Hikaru said.

"Thank you Hikaru." Slowly the twins reached the door and turned around.

"Do you need a minute to rest?" Kaoru shook his head.

"I think I can get back."

"Good. If you need to stop, let me know, you can lean on me." Kaoru was starting to wish he had taken a break by the time they reached the bed again.

"Was walking painful for you?"

"No more painful than when you pushed on me."

"That can be managed with medication. Kaoru, would you like to go home now?"rhe hosts grinned.

"Yes, I'd like that very much." Kaoru said happily.

"Good, I'm going to go and get your discharge papers for you while you get ready."

By noon, Kaoru found himself in his house, sitting on his couch and surrounded by his friends with Hikaru beside him.

"Do you need anything Kaoru, I can-"

"Hikaru, we're home now, if I need anything, I can get one of the maids to get it."

"You could but that's part of taking care of you, I promised you I would and I want to keep that promise because you're that important to me Kaoru."

"But you're supposed to be careful too."

"Yeah, but I came too close to losing you too many times, I wasn't like that, not after my surgery." This reminded Kaoru of his hospital papers, they would have had to say something about the organ removal.

"Hikaru, do you think you can get me some water?"

"Of course, fo you want to try eating too, the doctor says you should."

"Maybe a little later."

"I mean it Kaoru, you have to eat something so you don't get sick, especially with your medicine."

"I'll try later, I promise." Hikaru seemed to have accepted that answer and went to get the drink. Kaoru picked up the bag that he had brought his belongings home in and searched through the papers until he found the ones he was looking for.

"Kaoru, what are you doing?" Haruhi asked.

"I told you guys, Hikaru can't find out, not even now. You saw how upset he was at rhe hospital, if he thought he caused that, he would have a really hard time."

"Isn't it good to tell him though, I mean he didn't force you into it, you made the choice. You could explain-"

"You try telling Hikaru that, you won't get far before he starts being angry with both of us. I'm not telling him. It would hurt him too much. I just need to figure out what to do with them."

"But Kaoru-" Tamaki began before being silenced by Kyoya.

"Kaoru's right, it would be too painful for Hikaru, neither one of then need to go through that. Have you read them, do you know what to do?"

"Yeah."

"Give them to me." Kaoru handed them to the older boy, who put them into his computer bag.

"I still think he should understand-"

"He won't boss, you should know that by now. I didnt like lying to him, but things would have been a lot worse if I didn't. There are just somethings that Hikaru can't find out about, for his own good."

"He's right senpai, he would know how ro deal with this best, he knows Hikaru better than any of us." Hikaru reappeared with a bottle of water and sat back down.

"Thank you." Kaoru said taking a small sip.

"I'm so happy you're home Kaoru." Hikaru pulled him into a gentle hug.

"I'll never let you get sick again."

"You know you can't protect me from being sick Hika, it doesn't work that way. Eventually, I'll get a cold or the flu, but that's okay because I'll get better."

"I know you will Kaoru, because I'll be right there beside you the whole time."


	20. Chapter 20

"welcome back Kaoru, we were so worried about you and Hikaru." the young girl said.

"but you're still pale, are you sure you feel well enough to host today?" her friend asked with concern. Kaoru smiled.

"I'm Okay, It's just my first day back, so I just need to get used to it again, I'm sorry." He looked away from the guests as if he had been ashamed.

"Don't you apogize Kaoru, you take all the time you need, we understand."

"The two of you must have been really sick, you were gone for so long." Before Kaoru could reply, Hikaru opened the door, he had gone out into the hall to take a phone call. His expression was a mixture of anger and sadness. Kaoru stood up and walked to him.

"Hikaru?" He said slowly. The older twin couldn't look at his brother. Their guests watched nervously.

"Hika, what is it?" Tamaki moved toward them to attempt to defuse the situation.

"Hikaru, Kaoru, why don't the two of you-"

"Shut up!" Hikaru snapped. Causing the girls to gasp in surprise. Tamaki fell silent.

"Hikaru, don't do this in front of the guests." Kaoru pleaded, Hikaru grabbed his wrist and pulled him into a more private place. He stood in silence for a long while. Outside the door. The hosts gathered along with many of the guests.

"Hika, tell me what's wrong." Kaoru asked softly.

"You know damn well what's wrong. Why Kaoru, after I told you no, why?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The person that called me just now was a doctor, he thought I was you, must have gotten the numbers mixed up, they wanted to see you to make sure you were doing alright, they said it was standard procedure for anyone who donated an organ. You did it didn't you, the kidney I have now is yours." Kaoru didn't speak.

"And don't lie to me."

"Hikaru, you were dying, what was I supposed to do?"

"I told you no, didn't I, that I didn't want to lose you. Look what happened to you Kaoru!"

"Hika, please, what happened to me was my fault, not yours. I wanted you to live."

"Don't tell me that, you almost died!"

"I wanted-"

"I could have killed you kaoru, all those stomach aches, your bleeding, it could have killed you. Your fevers and- Damn it Kaoru!" Hikaru burst into tears, still unable to look at his twin.

Slowly, Kyoya opened the door, and peered inside to check on them.

"I'm here Hikaru, isn't that what matters?"

"I could have gotten on that list, you didn't have to-"

"You wouldn't have had enough time, look at me Hikaru."

"I can't, I'm so angry with you, but you still look sick, I can't- I can't forgive myself for this."

"There isn't anything to forgive Hikaru. It wasn't your fault, I told you that. You can yell at me later, right now I need to go sit down." Kyoya motioned for everyone to get back to their places as Kaoru came out, he wasn't angry, but he seemed hurt. It was a minute before Hikaru emerged.

"Are you alright Kao-Chan?"

"I will be."

"Kaoru, come here." Hikaru called from the middle of the room.

"I'm not going to listen to you-" Hikaru had crossed the room and pulled him from his chair, he held him close.

" Kaoru, I-I love you so much. I'm sorry. I just- if you died, I- you really are the best little brother ever!"

"I love you too Hika. This is why I didn't want you to know. Everything that I sent through was worth it, because you're still here. I still have my big brother."

"That's so beautiful, the way Hikaru and Kaoru love each other." One of the guests sobbed.

"Does this mean everything's okay now Takashi?" Honey asked looking up at his cousin.

"I think everything is back to normal Mitsukuni."

"I have to agree, it looks like we have our little devils back." Tamaki smiled. 'Everything is going to be just fine."

A/n: I want to thank everyone who read, favored and reviewed my story. As of now this will probably be my last host club story, I have no more ideas, I'm currently tied up in my black butler series. I won't say for sure at this point that I won't come back to the club one day. (I do love the hosts, the twins especially) but anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story.


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